[The Two Fates]

Chapter 5: The Saiyan strikes back

From: Chad
To: Jon
Subject: Re:_KiSs~~-YoU_bEtTa_SeNd_iT_bAcK_TaH_Me!
Date: Sun, 19 Sep 1999 19:11:26 -0400

Okay! Maybe I did send that stupid message! I regreted it, and I know you're not offended. You're just giving me a hard time 'cause your my pal. So, let's drop it.

Anyway the new season of shows has arrived. I saw "Beast Machines" and the premears of "Batman/ Superman" ,"Batman Beyond", and "Pokemon." I also bought an anime "Sonic the Hedgehog: The Movie". Speaking of which they have a weird new Sonic show on T.V. In the comics they explained it as a parallel dimension of the Sonic story we all know and love(d). Cartoon Network also started new episodes of Dragon Ball Z. Hey that's right! I just got cable. (Only in the living room.)

And now back to the action...(You didn't think I'd let a little thing like a Spirt Bomb stop me did you? It didn't stop Vegeta and it's not gonna stop me.) Okay that Spirt bomb hurt a little, but I'm not out yet. I still have enough energy for a few dirty tricks. You think it's all over so while your back is turned I sneak up behind you and tap you on the shoulder. You turn around and I give you the Stone Cold Salute (I flick you off), then I kick you in the stomach and deliver the "Stone Cold Stunner". ( In case you never had the pleasure of seeing the "Stunner" allow me to explain. When you double over from the kick to the stomach, I turn around, wrap my arm arond your neck, placing your chin on my sholder, then I simply drop to the ground, slamming your chin on my shoulder, the recoil sends you flying backwards, and leaves you momentarily on your back dazed and confused. [Usualy just enough time to pin you for the three-count.]) While you're down I comment that while you regrettably killed Jerry Lawler before his chance to campaine for Mayor of Memphis, he was right in stating that there were no "puppies". So I quickly grab the nearest hottie hostage. (The lovely and talented Miss Brittney Spears.) I then release my deadly, fire-breathing, winged dragon to keep you occupied. (Bet you didn't know I had one of those did ya, Mr. Smarty Pants?) I remembered to wear my teleporter too.(Never leave evil headquarters without it. [ I guess I just established my self as the "Bad Guy", huh? Oh well.]). As my giant dragon slowly lumbers toward you, you see me slowly disappear in a green glow, still holding Brittney hostage. (We're on a first name basis now. Why? BECAUSE I SAID!!!) My evil laugh echos as I return to my headquarters to heal my wounds. Then the dragon's gaping maw fills your entire view.

You're turn. Heh! Heh! Heh!

Hey, let's keep this up! I'm enjoy in this battle of wits and pop culture knowledge. And that was a preety good come back last time. I didn't think you had it in you to mercilessly kill Jerry Lawler, or use excesive knowledge of Dragon Ball Z. Examples: "Super Saiyan" (Spelled corectly no less.), "Trunks", and the Flaming Yellow hair, I still have yet to see these on the show and have little or no knowledge about them. And I know how your sick little monkey boy brain works, and I'm not sure about your views on Brittney Spears, so here are a couple of rules (for me AND you.) (1) I did not take Miss Spears to be subjected to my kinky, immature, wild, fantasies. (Not that I have any mind you.) I have respect for her and her work. (Not GREAT respect, but respcet none the less. And I still think she's hot.) (2) You CANNOT kill the hostage just to get to me. That's not a nice thing to do and I would be totally ticked off. (You DON'T want to do THAT.) I mean you slaugtered Jerry Lawler, and you're not a real big fan of pop music. (We'd BOTH love to utterly destroy the Backstreet Boys, and all of their carbon copy wannabes. But that sort of thing is just not done to a hottie like Miss Spears.)

Your Friend (and Enemy),

Chad "The Game" DuBeau

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