SWEET!!!!!! I HAVE A FRENCH MAID!
THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU! Okay, explain the "Red candle". PIKACHU RULES! Jar Jar Binks was a funny twist. What's Succharine? Okay, I don't know what "amicably" means, explain Mr. Dictionary. That was a great additon to our story. Good work my friend.
That's all of my wild rammblings. Here we go.....(You're gonna LOVE this.)
The Two Fates, part 7
"Well, well, well, what DO we have here?" I ask no one inparticular. "One of these 'Barneys' I've heared so much about. And what's this?" I turn over the sign on his neck. It explains the detales of his capture, braggings over the defeat of my dragon, and explains why he is wearing Jerry "The King" Lawler's crown and why he's mummbling the word "puppies." I turn to my chief lacky, a tall and rather nervous figure. "Smite, call Vince and tell him of the situation with this tub of lard." I say as I kick the purple lumpy thing laying on my office floor. "Mr. McMahon just regained control of the WWF. I'm sure he'd want to know about this little development." (Author's notes: 1) Arther Smite is not any real character. I just made him up to fit the "cheif lackey" role you added. Good call by the way. 2) Vince McMahon's long standing battle with "Stone Cold" Steve Austin came to an end when he lost a wager he made with Austin. The wagger called for him to leave the WWF forever if he lost. Well, he did, so he left. But, just last night he was reinstated as CEO of the WWF by Austin in exchange for a chance at the one thing Austin wants most, The WWF Heavyweight Title. Now back to the story.)
"What about Keim?," Smite nervously whined. "He sent this here! He knows were you are! That's a tracer on Barney's arm!"
"Don't you think I know that, you sniveling coward? I know he'll try to get in, I know he'll sucseed. I couldn't have planned this better my self. Let him come." An evil smile appears on my face as I anticipate your arival. Just then a husky man with sun glasses and a trmmed beard walks into the office twirling his nightstick. "Your my chief of security," I snap at him. "Why didn't you notice this before Tasha did, Bossman?" (That's right, Big Bossman. An ex-prison gaurd turned pro wrestler that's so mean he killed, cooked, and fed a helpless chiuaua (The "Taco Bell" kind of dog) to his owner just to prove he could be "hardcore". Check out WWF.Com under the page named "Superstars" for more info".)
"Don't worry, sir. I'll get that b******* yet." Bossman said in a thick southern drawl as he poked Barney with his nightstick. He then proceeded to kick the large purple mass.
"Never mind that," I said. "Just take that 'creature' to the lab. Mindbender and Sevarius have been waiting for an oppertunity like this." Bossman spoke into his walkie-talkie and a few dozen armed gaurds entered the room and carried Barney down to the lab. (Many of them needed a chiropracter after that.) As I entered the elevator, I turned to Smite. "After you've warned Vince, go up stairs and tell my 'buisiness partner' to prepare for our special guest." As the elevator doors closed I looked at my reflection in the metal and smiled widely. Brittney WAS flirting with me! Oh Boy!
About a half hour before sunset you started your journey into my secret base. After bypassing the security systems and crawling around in the air vents for about 25 minutes you finally reached my underground labratory. (Note to self: Get sensors in air ducts....IMMEDIATLY!!!!) It's dark. All the lights are off. You suspect a trap, but you proceed into my lab anyway. Quietly and carefully you dodge security system after security system. After each system passed it feels less and less like a trap. You think I must be getting sloppy. You're only one step from clearing the elevator when....the doors open to reveal a tall beatiful woman with flaming red hair and in a rad buisness dress (Guess Who!), aiming a "laser" gun bigger than your entire arm directically at your head! (Guess you were right about the trap thing, huh? Heh! Heh! Heh!) She steps out of the elevator and the doors close. It's dark again, but only for a second. Just then the lights turn on. The labratory is much bigger than you thougt. And standing right beside a strange high tech chair, with wires and a monitor sticking out of it, is me.
"Hello Jon," I muse villinously. (Is that a word?) "How do you like the place? It was a fixer upper when I first bought it, but now I think of it as home." My wicked smile brodens as I walk over to the woman (Call her a chick and you die!) with the gun. "I'd like you to meet my buisness partner, Miss Dominique Destine. Of course you might know her better as..." I snatch the gun out of her hand as the sun sets outside. Dominique immediatly appears to be in extream pain as her skin changes to a strange, light blue color. Her expensive dress is torn in several places (Get your mind out of the gutter.) as wings and a tail spring from her back. Her already "In shape" body becomes even more so as her muscle mass increases dramatically. Her desiner high heeled shoes are destroyed as her feet grow into taloned, feral claws. Her hands do the same, and her eyes glow a bright red. Finally, after only seconds of extreame pain she lets out a feral roar as her transformation completes and she begins to relax. ("KINKY!") She drapes her wings over her sholders like a cape as I finish my sentance. "....Demona!" (Good timing, isn't it?) "Of course Demona's natural, for lack of a better word, EXTREME hatred of humans kept me from working with her before, but Dr. Mindbender changed all that. You turn to the funky chair to see a tall, bald man with a monocal and waxed mustache staning were I had been moments ago.
"What I have beside me," Dr. Mindbender said with a thick Germanic accent. "Is the brain wave scanner. It is a highly efficient and painful form of brain washing."
"Mindbender especialy likes the 'painful' part," another voice in a thick British accent speaks. You immediatly recognize the man as he walks into the room. Anton Sevarius.
Then I speak, "Besides being an excelent technician, both Mindbender and Sevarius are accomplished genetisists. Just look at what they did with the little present you sent me." You look behind you to see several six-foot tall, purple lizard men. They don't look like they want to be your friend. Each one has razor sharp claws, a gargole-like body, rows of sharp teeth, and green glowing eyes. The doors open behind me and inside is Smite and Bossman holding Brittney Spears. "Okay boys It's time to go," I say to Anton and Mindbender, who quickly enter the elevator. "It's been fun Jon, but now it's time for you to die. And I have to get to my next hide out, where even more power is waiting for me. Ta ta!" I step into the elevator, soon fallowed by Demona. As the doors close, all but Demona and Smite wave "Bye-bye" mockingly. You curse your mistake as you realize I'm much more dangerous than you had anticipated, as well as the fact that I've escaped with the hostage, all of my henchmen (including the French maid, Tasha), and a new weapon in the form of a fat, stupid-looking dinosaur named "Barney." Then the Velocibarneys (as I've named them.) attack.
Gee, this is fun! Mines pretty long too! It's your turn now! I still have more deadlier wariors on the way, as well as one heck of an evil surprise. Good luck! (You'll need it!)