If a certain truth can be distilled into one 20 word sentance, then chances are good it's not very true.
...hey, everybody needs some words to live by, right? (:
Human feet taste like chicken. I know because I'm forced to try mine so often.
Jesus is as good a reason to get up in the morning as I know.
Life gets bad so it can get good again.
Sometimes, the nicest thing you can do for a person is to graciously let them do something nice for you.
Thinking is the bane of popularity
If you can't learn to do something well, then you must simply learn to like doing it badly.
I don't believe in polygamy, and niether do my wives
The Internet is a highly efficient means of distributing information. Unfortunately, it's equally efficient at feeding you lies.
If you remember who you are, who God is, what each of you is capable of, and that He loves you, you'll have a pretty good perspective for the day.
Show me an average human and I'll show you a very odd person indeed
Government already does all useful things that it can. Only human stupidity will nessecitate it's expansion
One thing that Usenet (definition) has taught me is to keep my mouth shut unless I know what I'm talking about
General, random thinking can be a good thing, but be careful. A foolish man who sits down to think for a while, when done, isn't any wiser, only more confused. Only I'm usually working or sweeping the shop or something, not sitting.
You may get the impression that I'm a bit offbeat, but I'd rather that than decieve you into thinking I'm normal
Why is it that, in this instant internet age, most of my personal emails both coming and going bear apologies for the reply having taken so long? Where is all the time gone to that our technology is supposed to have saved for us?
Whatever I do, I'm constantly dogged by the fear that it's not really something I want to do, but something someone else, probably one of those marketing types, has secretly convinced me I want to do.
Wings are knotty things. When used right, you soar. When used wrong, you crash. When you know where you're going, you get there fast. When you don't watch were you're going, you bring down militairy jets by smashing through the canopy and killing the pilot... Yeesh.
People can't listen to advertising without coming out slightly the worse for wear (this brief conversation keeps running through my head: "stop it, stop it, you're eating my soul!!!" "Yes, but is there any money in it for me?")
"Eat the chicken, Shinji"
This essay is about life; senses, sensations and stimuli of the very most instinctual and immediate variety. More than that, however, it's about the inevitable drift of life into death, and the gradual, profound loss of the things and people that have occupied us while we're in this world. Life, in its immediacy, is all you're ever really given, and so it's also all you have to loose.
Do not envy the artist or the writer, for as much as he is able to capture emotion and feeling, so also is he prisoner to them. His greatest tool and his greatest enemy are one and the same: himself.
One problem with being naturally skilled at observation is that you never feel compelled to do more than observe. Unless, of course, you're also one of those types that feels compelled to meddle.
Jon: "It's sorta wierd. Here I thought we'd left this behind at the church, and then we run right into it when we get home, too."
A relationship is like skiing downhill at thirty miles an hour. Especially if it's your first time and you wish you were only going ten.
If you are a poet that can only work when sad, enjoy the times when you can't. Because you will have plenty of opportunities to write poetry.
Bear your pain, then, with an easy grin and a bleeding heart, because it's called learning. And it's the only way any of us has a prayer.
I wonder if we're there yet? We keep trying to get there, but we're not there now. I wonder if we'll ever get there?
Are we there yet?
No, we aren't. Be quiet and stop asking.
No, we aren't. "When will we be, do you think?" When we get to Heaven.
The Bible says that the Cross offends. If you are offended, I am doing my job. If you are attracted to Christ, the Spirit is doing his work.
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive
My philosophy is this... If you don't have a good sense of humor, you're better off dead.
Revenge is a dish best served with pinto beans and muffins.
A plan so cunning, you could stick a tail on it and call it a weasel.
Look around the table. If you don't see a sucker, get up and leave, because you are the sucker.
It is against the grain of modern education to teach children to program. What fun is there in making plans, acquiring discipline in organizing thoughts, devoting attention to detail, and learning to be self-critical?
Gauls! We have nothing to fear; except perhaps that the sky may fall on our heads tomorrow. But as we all know, tomorrow never comes!!
Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means for going backwards.
The obvious mathematical breakthrough [to break modern encryption] would be development of an easy way to factor large prime numbers.
The Internet was designed to survive a nuclear war. But can it survive capitalism?
You know that old public speaking trick of picturing your audience naked? I like to pretend they're on fire. That way, it makes a lot more sense when I run screaming from the stage.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
My money says that the guy who wrote "I Believe I Can Fly" has never actually tried it.
He's an inept crook, he always robs people the wrong way.
Remember that as a teen-ager, you are in the last stage of your life where you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.
The world is moving so fast these days that the person who says it can't be done is generally interrupted by someone doing it
March is the month God created to show people who don't drink what a hangover is like.
The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a bit longer.
Call on God, but row away from the rocks.
Consider the beauty of the forest. Now consider the beauty of the forest on drugs. Cool, huh?
If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?
A bird in the hand is worth nothing... unless it happens to be a Spotted Owl, in which case I bet you could sell it to an animal rights group for a pretty tidy sum.
When I play with my cat, how do I know that she is not passing time with me rather than I with her?
If possible, try to find a way to come downstairs that doesn't involve going bump, bump, bump, on the back of your head
Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the drug store, but that's just peanuts to space.
However, never daunted, I will cope with adversity in my traditional manner ... sulking and nausea.
The advertisement is the most truthful part of a newspaper.
A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with.
What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
If you are feeling unsuccessful just think about this: eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
Pride of nationality depends not on ignorance of other nations, but on ignorance of one's own.
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
Always remember, three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
Reality is a big, nasty, vicious dragon, but I don't believe in dragons.
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
Anywhere is walking distance, if you've got the time.
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.
You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do.
Never judge a book by it's movie.
If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing.
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
Education is what you get from reading the fine print. Experience is what you get from not reading it.
There are two kinds of pedestrians--the quick and the dead.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away, and you have their shoes too.
The early bird gets the worm, but the early worm gets eaten.
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
"If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?"
Some people seem to think that my views are "tough." I'm not tough. Life is tough --- and I am just trying to get people to recognize that.
Sleeping and waking, living and dying, it is safe being in good company
Your rebellion is their marketing scheme
Go figure if there was one guy who was dead and still wanted to get on the net it would be you ;-)
Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.
Remember, only by treating everyone with dignity and respect can we maintain the element of surprise for that inevitable day when we wipe our enemies from the face of the earth.
If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must Man be of learning from experience?
Every problem in the universe can be solved by finding the right long-haired prettyboy and beating the crap out of him.
Luke, I am your tedious, overused plot device.
A closed mouth gathers no foot
Wisdom has two parts: 1) having a lot to say, and 2) not saying it
We are confronted with insurmountable opportunities.
Be like a duck; look calm and unruffled on the surface, but paddle like blazes underneath!!
I can imagine a perfect world, a world without hate, a world without war. Then I can imagine us attacking that world because they'd never expect it.
"--My songs are of time and distance. The sadness is in you. Watch my arms. There is only the dance. These things you treasure are shells."
Because ten billion years is so brief, so ephemeral that it arouses a bittersweet, almost heartbreaking fondness
What is a poet? A poet is an unhappy being whose heart is torn by secret sufferings, but whose lips are so strangely formed that when the sighs and the cries escape them, they sound like beautiful music... And men crowd around the poet and say to him: 'Sing for us soon again'; that is as much to say: 'May new sufferings torment your soul, but may your lips be formed as before; for the cries would only frighten us, but the music is delicious.'
People are like tea bags-you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are.
Why is 'Inkblots' sometimes italicized and sometimes not?