In the arena, both the audience and commentators sat in stunned silence watching the static on the giant screen.
"Not again!" Daffy moaned. "I gotta tell ya, we really should invest in some more durable cameras."
When the visual returned, only dust filled the screen.
* * * * *
Slowly, the dust swirling over the remains of Tokyo-3 began to settle. As the veiw became more clear, we can begin to see exactly what, and who, remained standing.
Cracked streets remained. Damaged and windowless buildings remained. Rubble, junk, and debris remained.
And, in a massive, charred crater, Megatron remained.
And, surprisingly enough, Big O, Megas, and what was left of Wing Zero remained laying behind a motionless Eva-01, the shimmer of a massive hexagonal shield slowly fading before them.
"Report," Gendo Ikari commanded.
"There is severe structural damage close to the surface, but there is no immediate danger of collapse," One of the NERV technitians reported.
"Evacuations are proceeding as planned and repairs are underway," Another chimed in.
"What is the status of Evangelion Unit-01?" Gendo inquired.
"Shinji must have used his AT-Field to survive the explosion and protect the others," Answered Ritsuko Akagi, a lovely woman with short blond hair in a lab coat.
"I have no idea, Sir," Said Ritsuko. "The AT-Field should have only protected Eva Unit-01. Nothing more."
"Shinji's umbilical cable has been severed!" Misato yelled the instant the monitor screen cleared enough to show that the cord connecting Eva Unit-01 to its power source was indeed no longer connected.
"And he more than likely used up all of his reserve power to protect the others and survive the blast," Ritsuko mentioned.
"That means he's defenseless!" Misato yelled. "I'm calling in Eva-00 and 02 to get him out of there."
"No," Gendo said calmly. "You will not. He refused to follow orders and now he must face the consequences."
"But, Sir," Misato exclaimed as she rose from her seat in outrage. "He's your so--"
"That is enough, Major!" Gendo declared. "Either resume your post or you will be relieved of it."
Misato scowled at her commanding officer, but finally sat back down.
"Good," Gendo said, not even moving his hands from in front of his face. "We will continue to monitor the situation."
* * * * *
"So, you're still alive?" Megatron half-snarled/half-sneered. "You fleshsacks are more resilient than I gave you credit for. How...aggravating."
The aggravated Decepticon began to stalk towards the four disabled mechs.
"At least I finally rid myself of that meddlesome Optimus Prime," Megatron gloated, noting the total disappearance of his opposite from the battlefield. "Although, obliterating your arch foe in a single blast just seems so unsatisfactory."
Megatron smiled wickedly as he stood before a stationary Eva-01.
"Rest assured, I will not make the same mistake with the rest of you."
Inside the entry plug of Eva-01, Shinji Ikari awoke and looked at his veiw monitor just in time to see the massive silver fist of Megatron collide with the head of Eva-01.
Even submersed in the yellow LCL fluid, Shinji's head snapped back from the impact from the connection he shared with his Evangelion.
Eva-01 hit the ground in a limp heap.
Megatron stood over his pitiful quarry, taking a minute to scan its fallen form.
"Ah, I see," Megatron said finally before reaching out and hitting a trigger on the back of Eva-01 that ejected Shinji's entry plug with a loud hiss.
"Such an impressive machine," Megatron said, looking at the Evangelion on the ground before turning his attention to the long, thin entry plug containing Shinji Ikari he now held in his hand. "Pity it is piloted by such a weak, inferior creature. Perhaps I can find a better use for it's destructive potential."
Megatron lifted the entry plug to eye level looking for the defenseless human child within.
"Oh God!" April and Misato both gasped in horror.
And Megatron crushed the metal cylinder with Shinji Ikari inside.
Or, at least, he would have if a lanky purple fist hadn't smashed into his face just before another one yanked Shinji's entry plug from his grasp.
"What the hell just happened?!?" J.R. asked both confused and releaved.
"I...I don't know," April said, feeling much the same way. "It looks like Eva-01 just rescued Shinji, but how?"
"I have no idea," Daisuke said, also expressing the same feeling as the rest of the commentating table. "Without power or a pilot, an Eva shouldn't be able to move at all."
True to Daisuke's words, when Megatron recovered he found a montionless Eva-01 holding onto Shinji's undamaged entry plug.
"It doesn't matter how you did that, human," Megatron growled, leveling his arm cannon on the still unmoving Eva. "What matters is that you will do nothing ever again."
"Think again, Megatron," A deep, compassionate voice said before Megatron's arm cannon was torn off his arm and use to club the Decepticon in the face.
"Why don't you pick on somebody your own size, Megatron?" Optimus Prime said as he tossed his enemy's primary weapon away.
"YES!!!" Hiroshi cheered, then sang (Accompanied by R2-D2). "o/`You
Got the Touch!!! You Got the Powah!!! Yeah! o/`"
To which Daffy and Daisuke simultaneously slapped him upside the head.
"No Stan Bush for you," Daisuke snapped.
Hiroshi recovered quickly, "Optimus Prime has made a miraculous return and rescued Shinji Ikari at the very last second!!!"
"Prime?!?" Megatron bellowed. "How--how did you survive?!?"
"You shouldn't worry how I survived, Megatron," Optimus said. "But how you're going to."
Then Megatron noticed a sight that made the energon inside him begin to boil with rage.
Megas and Big O were getting up.
"NO!!!" Megatron bellowed and leapt towards his Optimus Prime.
There was a thunderous crash as the dropkick from Megas collided with Megatron in mid-air.
The evil robot skidded across the burnt ground, only to stop at the feet of Big O. With one mighty kick, Megatron was sent flying through the air right back to where he was moments before.
Megatron was at least allowed to get up off the ground before the well deserved attack resumed.
"Hey Megs!" Coop said as Megas picked up a charred billboard and lobbed it at the recovering Decepticon. "Catch!"
Megatron easily snatched the metal sheet out of the air in front of him.
"Is that al--?" Megatron said before a spinning back kick ended his taunt by smashing the billboard into his face.
"And Megas delivers the World's largest Van Daminator!!!" J.R. hyped.
"Don't mess with me, 'cause I'm C-O-P!" Coop taunted, even making Megas do the "thumb-point". "Uhh...except with another 'O'."
"Yeah..." Daffy drawled as Megatron scrambled to regain his footing. "A real progeny that one."
Big O raised his arms to his forehead and released the purple ray of its Chromiun Buster on the evil Decepticon, tearing a devistating scar along Megatron's torso.
Megatron screamed in raged pain, but still somehow remained standing.
Coop looked excitedly at his over crowded dashboard. His hand passed over the buttons labled "Owwie", "Hurt", and "Mutilate", hitting the big red one marked "BRING DA PAIN!"
Panels, doors, and turrets opened on every part of Megas, revealing s ores of missles, guns, and laser cannons of every shape and size.
They all hit Megatron at once, engulfing him in a massive explosion.
When the smoke cleared, Megatron was still standing...barely.
"Megatron is certainly one tough customer," J.R. said with no small amount of respect for the power of the diabolical tyrant.
"He takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'!" Hiroshi said with no respect...or sense...at all.
"Quite," C-3PO replied, albeit reluctantly. "The Decepticons as a whole, and especially their leader, Megatron, respect very little, except for power. Which is why they are always after more."
"It's also why they often fail," April said, having seen his type far too often before.
"A wise observation, Miss O'Neil," Threepio agreed.
"I'll...kill...all of you..." Megatron managed to gasp, not an inch of his once gleaming silver armor left undamaged in some way.
"You won't hurt anyone ever again!" Roger Smith declared as he prepared for one final attack. "Big O! Action!!!"
The huge right fist of Big O impacted into the torso of the damaged Transformer, but it didn't stop there. A gigantic piston shot out from its elbow joint and with a deafening release of air blasted a massive explosion right through Megatron's chest.
With a pitiful groan, the once proud Decepticon, now with a hole in his body big enough to drive a truck through, fell to his knees.
Big O and Megas began to move in, but where stayed by the hand of Optiums Prime.
"Give it up, Megatron," Said the compassionate Autobot leader. "It's over. You've lost."
"You pathetic creatures think you've won?" Megatron snapped. "Think agai--"
The surprised Decpticon looked to his side to find the headless remains of Gundam Wing Zero with its pilot staring up at him defiantly.
Heero Yuy stood on the platform made by the open cockpit of Wing Gundam with the self-destruct button in his hand and murder in his eyes. "You should've killed me when you had the chance."
"You are willing to die, taking your enemy with you rather than admit defeat?" Megatron said more to himself than Heero. "Maybe I was wrong about you, Pest."
Then Megatron laughed.
Then Heero pushed the button.
The following explosion was marred only by the sight of a giant figure running into the blast, but thankfully it did not knock out the camera feed.
“Heero Yuy just triggered the self-destruct on his Gundam!!!” J.R. shouted. “Why?!? Megatron was beat He didn't have to kill himself to prove a point! That's crazy!”
“Oh dear!” Exclaimed C-3PO.
“I saw someone run into the blast!” April said. “Who was it?”
“I don't know!” Hiroshi shouted. “Was it Optimus?!?”
“It's…it's…” Daisuke waited to get a clear look at the figure stepping back through the flames.
"Whoa, dude," Coop said to the angry young man held in Megas' hands. "I dig the Kamikaze routine, but it's only cool if you live through it!"
"IT'S COOP!!!" Hiroshi screamed. "Coop used Megas to save the suicidal Heero Yuy!!!"
"His Gundam may be totalled, but at least Heero's alive," April sighed.
"I agree wholeheartedly, Miss O'Neil," Threepio added.
"So, uhh...What happens now?" Coop asked as he set Heero down next to the still unmoving Eva-01.
"I have accomplished what I set out to do," Optimus Prime said. "Defeat Megatron and defend the people of Earth, neither of which I could have done today without the help of you four. Thank you all, but I withdraw from the match. I have no further reason to fight."
On a private line between Megas and Big O, Roger Smith appeared on a small screen in front of Coop.
"And it looks I'm not going to accomplish what I was here to do, so I'm out too," The Nagotiator said. "Looks like you win Coop."
"Awww, man! I wanted more action!" Coop griped, slamming his hand on the dashboard, which caused a spare missle to fire and destroy the last remaining undamaged building.
"Oops! Uhh...okay. Heh heh! I'm done."
* * * * *
"There you have it!" J.R. said. "Coop wins on account of everyone else either withdrew or is unable to continue."
"Especially Megatron!" Hiroshi cheered.
"What an odd, yet celebratory, turn of events," Threepio observed. "I fear I'll never fully understand humans."
"You and me both, Brother," The little black duck chimed in.
Suddenly, R2-D2 burst out in a series of excited chirps and whistles.
"Appearantly I'll never understand droids either," Daffy said.
"What?" Threepio scolded. "You actually placed a wager on that match...and you won?"
R2-D2 beeped an affermative then gave a long low whistle.
"Vegas odds where what?!?" Hiroshi shouted, nearly falling out of his chair. "Dude! You're rich!"
R2-D2 replied with a laughing series of chirps and beeping as he began to roll away from the table.
"'Quit'?" C-3PO asked in a panic as he followed the other droid up the ramp and into the back. "What do you mean, 'You quit'? You can't quit! What about the Republic? Artoo? Artoo!!!"
"C-3PO said it best," J.R. said as the cameras returned their attention to the commentating table. "'What an odd, yet celebratory, turn of events'. Coop wins the Mecha Brawl in Tokyo-3 after Gundam Wing Zero, Eva-01, and Megatron are disabled and Optimus Prime and Big O see no reason to continue fighting."
"But the fighting will continue with the upcoming Women's Title Match followed by a very special match referred to only as 'Amerifan vs. Otaku'," Hiroshi added. "Featuring two guys who would have otherwise been joining us doing commetary!"
"Yeah," Daffy griped, pushing Jerry Lawler's unconcious form away from him. "Like it's not crowded enough here already."
"But before we get to that, we have an incoming report from Major Misato Katsuragi of NERV regarding the state of Tokyo-3 and our fighters," April said. "If we could get it up on the big screen? Major Katsuragi? Can you hear me?"
"Sure can," Sang the peppy voice of Misato as she appeared on the large arena screen. "Hey everyone! Misato here with an update on the situation in Tokyo-3!"
"Welcome, Major," J.R. cordially replied. "We saw a lot of damaged caused by that last fight, how are the people of Tokyo-3 holding up?"
"Everyone's fine, J.R.," Misato assured him. "Both evacuations and repairs are well underway and going smoothly. Thankfully, although there was massive property damage, there weren't any casualties (Except Megatron, of course)."
"What about the other fighters?" Daisuke asked.
"The four pilots have been retrieved and are being treated even as we speak," Misatoanswered. "Optimus Prime is also receiving repairs and regular maintenance in the Nerv hanger. So it looks like everything here is going to be a-okay!"
"Glad to hear it," April said. "Thanks for the update Misato and we hope to see you again soon."
"No problem, April!" Misato waved good-bye and added a wink. "See you guys later! And next time, I promise they'll be lots of fan service!"
"Huh? Wha? Who?" King groaned as he finally regained consiousness.
"Is he going to be okay?" Daffy asked.
"Oh boy! Misato!" King cheered. "Plus, next time she promised fan service! Woo hoo! I can hardly wait!"
"...He'll be fine," April and J.R. deadpanned together.
In the empty interview area backstage, the shadow of a girl with braided pigtails appeared on the wall and extravagantly placed her hand in front of her mouth as if telling a secret.
"Do you know? Do you know? Have you heard the news?"
A second young feminine shadow with a distinct bow in her hair joined the first, holding up what was apparently a barker's megaphone.
"Come one, come all!" She barked. "To the greatest show on Earth!"
"The lights! The spectacle! The action!" The other chimed in.
"Those fight for love," The bowed shadow girl swooned holding her hands over her heart.
"These fight for honor," The pigtailed shadow proclaimed, brandishing a fencing rapier.
"Some fight for fame," The bowed one posed as flashbulbs shuttered around her.
"Others for power," The other cutely snarled appearently holding one of the previous flashes in her clenched fist.
"But it's more than just wrestling, fighting, or sports entertainment."
"It is an opportunity for powerbroakers on a galactic scale."
"It is a game orchestrated by the gods themselves."
"It is a battle against fate for the destiny of all mankind!"
"Plus, it makes for some really great television!"
The pigtailed shadow girl facefaulted at the comment by her counterpart, but quickly recovered.
Together, the shadow girls chanted and danced.
"Do you know? Do you know? Do you really know?"
"Ha! Beaten by abunch of punks and a pretty boy in giant tin cans," The meglomaniacal man in the blue mask laughed before turning to the twin sycophants bowing before him. "Grab a broom and go pick up the pieces."
"As you wish..."
Xamot and Tomax left to carry out their orders.
In a new hidden base half a world away, Cobra Commander turned off the sound on the monitor veiwing the premire broadcast of EMW.
"There. You see?" He proclaimed in a haunty tone to the only other person as evil and twisted as himself in the throne room. "Perhaps this latest defeat will cause the 'mighty' Megatron to 'reconsider' our generous offer."
"Indeed," Replied the other psychotic military terrorist.
* * * * *
[This match is dedicated to the memory of Micheal "Crash Holly" Lockwook, originator of the 24/7 rule and the most amusing WWF Hardcore Champion of all time.]
In the halls of the boiler room, an odd figure stalked through the dark. The only sounds were the echoing slap of bare feet on the concrete floor and the hissing pipes delivering heat to the massive arena.
“Who in the world is that?” J.R. asked.
“I think it's Inuyasha,” Daisuke said recognizing the apparently young man with long silver hair and pointed dog ears wearing a billowy red kimono. “A half-demon from the Feudal Era in Japan.”
“Well, what's he doing here?” King asked.
“I don't know,” Daisuke answered. “I don't think he knows either.”
“What the heck's going on around here?” The young half-demon griped. “Where am I? And where's Kagome?”
Inuyasha continued to stalk forward until a noise from behind caught his attention.
“What the hell?” Inuyasha asked as he turned around to find a yellow mouse-like creature with pointed ears and a lightning bold-shaped tale.
“Aww,” April cooed. “What's that cute little thing?”
“It's Pikachu!!!” Hiroshi cheered.
“It's a Pikachu, at least, ” Diasuke corrected. “It's a type of Pokémon.”
“What in the Sam Hill is a 'Pokey-man'?” Daffy demanded.
“Pokémon,” Diasuke again corrected. “They're animals and creatures with unique powers and abilities. I believe Pikachu here is some breed of electric mouse.”
“This is just getting too weird,” April said.
“'Getting'?” Daffy blanched. “Where've you been for the past twelve matches?”
“Doing interviews, mostly.”
“Pi-Pikachu! Pi-Pikachu!” The little yellow creature squeaked in panic, flailing around it's stubby little arms.
“What the hell's the matter with you? Geez, you're even more annoying than Shippo,” Inuyasha seethed before raising his hand to strike the offending creature. “Would you just shut--”
"PIKA!!!" The pokémon squealed and pointed behind the half-demon.
"What--HOLY--!!!" Inuyasha yelled a he narrowly ducked underneath a flying garbage can lid that impailed itself into the wall behind him.
From the shadows crawled a chattering blue creature that looked something like a rabid koala.
“Is that another one of those pokey-thingees?” King asked.
“That looks like the infamous Experiment 626!” Hiroshi shouted.
“The what now?” Daffy asked, more than a little annoyed.
“Experiment 626!” Hiroshi explained. “An escaped alien experiment with amazing abilities! But how did he get here all the way from Hawaii?”
“You and your conspiracy theories,” Daisuke moaned.
“Jimmy Hoffa is the guy in the Barney suit!” Hiroshi professed. “I swear!”
“My...name...Stitch,” The creature said in slow, broken English, flashing a wide smile of thick fangs which quickly transformed into a wicked sneer. “Stitch...here to fight!”
"You...want to fight me?"
"Eh," Stitch squeaked an affermative.
Inuyasha shared a glance with the small yellow rodent at his side before turning back to the aggressive alien before them.
"I don't know what type of demon you are," the half-demon snarled, brandishing his claws. "But if you wanna fight I'm ready for ya!"
“Yeearh!” Stitch snarled as two more arms grew from the sides of his body, antenna sprang from his head, and three long gangly spikes protruded from his back.
Stitch flew through the air and landed on Inuyasha's face scratching and snarling.
Deep, animalistic black eyes met cunning, sharp yellow ones for only a moment before Inuyasha managed to throw Stitch off of him and into a solid brick wall.
The small alien left a rather large crater where he impacted, but never once paused as he crawled from the hole and climbed along the wall like a spider.
"PIKA-CHUUU! CHUUU!" The small yellow pokémon shouted as it used the attack Thunder Shock in an
attempt to electrocute the escaping Stitch.
However, the wily genetic experiment prooved too fast and managed to dodge every single bolt until he disappeared into the shadows.
"Watch out," An ever wary Inuyasha said to his temporary ally. "He can come from anywhere."
"Pika," Pikachu agreed, looking about the many shadows in the area.
The quiet metallic sound of something crawling along the pipes above them preceed the attack, but the figure that dropped between them was not the one they were expecting.
"Behold the might of ZIM!!!" The little green antennaed creature wearing a purple outfit George Jetson would laugh at shouted as he rose up on the four metal spider legs that protruded from the pod on his back. "After I capture Jumba Jukeeba's Experiment 626, I will use his genetic code to creature an army of little monsters and finally CONQUER THE EARTH!!! So hand him over, you oddly dressed human pig-smelly with obviously fake ears, and maybe I won't destroy you."
"I'm a half-demon, you moron!" Inuyasha yelled at the self-proclaimed "Invader".
"As a master of disguse, you cannot fool me," Zim responded skeptically. "Surrender 626 to me now!"
"Surrender who?!?" Inuyasha snapped back to attention at a sudden crash coming from the shadows. "We're trying to fight for our lives here!"
"Now who's that?" King asked, disappointed that this unscheduled event was keeping him from ogling more puppies.
"Uhh...guys," April said. "I think that's Zim."
"Gesundheit," Daffy replied.
"Who?" Asked Hiroshi.
"Zim," April explained. "An alien invader from the 'Irkan Empire' or something like that. This big-headed kid keeps calling the station about it and all these other crazy conspiracy theories. I guess he was right about this one after all."
(Dib's triumphant yell could be heard for twenty miles in every direction of his house.)
"Nonsense!" Zim shouted conversationally and lowered himself, retracting his spider legs as he did so. "If I 'd wanted to kill you, rest assured, you would already be vaporized."
"Not you, you little green nutcase!" Inuyasha again shouted at the frustrating little would-be Invader.
"Pi-pika! Pika-pi! Pikachu!" Pikachu tried to explain as he approached Zim.
To which Zim responded by narrowing his bulging fuscia eyes and staring at the chattering Earth creature for a moment before extending a mechanical leg and flicking the poor pokémon away.
"Then who--" Zim asked right before a furry blue blur flew out from the shadows and clamped its jaws over his rather large head.
"AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" Zim yelled and ran around the boiler room in circles with the very creature he was looking for attatched firmly to the top of his head.
"That's the guy," Inuyasha snarled with a smile and a swipe of his claws. "IRON REAVER SOUL STEALER!!!"
But before his attack could come down on either of his alien enemies, one of Stitch's four arms snatched Inuyasha by the wrist and flung him into the room's massive boiler, denting it with with a resounding clang.
Stitch then planted his feet and lifted Zim off of his, then spat him out at near-terminal velocity into the wall the blue experiment had collided with earlier.
Stitch's triumphant cackling was interupted when he was shocked from behind by a sudden bolt if electricity.
Stitch snarled and whirled around to face a pissed-off Pikachu (Which still managed to look more cute than angry).
Before they could actually commence attacking each other, a purple laser blast hit in between them and blew them appart.
"Oh no you don't, you annoying...Earth...sparky...thing," Zim said. "Experiment 626 will belong to ZIM!!!"
Zim opened fire on the megawatt mouse, but Pikachu ran forward in a quick attack, dodging the lasers effortlessly.
Pikachu leapt at the annoying Irkan and whipped Zim in the face with his tail, adding an electerical charge to the attack, right as Zim was preparing his most powerful laser blast yet.
The pokémon's attack knocked the errant laser into a nearby wall, blasting a hole right through to the technician's breakroom.
Stitch wasted no time in climbing through the hole into the paniced room beyond.
"Hey!" Zim called out. "Hey! You can't leave! I haven't captured you yet!"
Zim began to chase Stitch into the other room until a section of piping collided with the spider legs, sending the malevolent alien sprawling to the boiler room floor.
"You're not getting away that easy," Inuyasha growled.
"Foolish cat-eared, dog/human...thing, I'm not--" Zim said before the half-demon stepped on his face and vaulted over him.
"Not you!!!" Inuyasha yelled as he leapt into the other room after Stitch.
"Pika!" Pikachu called as he followed, also leaping on Zim's face.
Before he made it through the wall however, Zim grabbed him by his lighting bolt-shaped tail and hoisted him up to stare at the pokémon with a distainful glare.
The now comically-charred, but no less distainful, Zim chucked Pikachu over his shoulder.
Pikachu landed hard on the cement floor, but quickly got back up in time to see Zim crawl through the hole he had made.
"Chuuu!" Pikachu growled before he followed the others into the next room.
The people screamed when Stitch bounded into the room snarling and scratching at everything within reach.
They paniced when Inuyasha leapt in cursing and snarling threats.
They stood frozen in shock when Zim stalked in with shouts of vengence and premature victory.
And several girls cooed when Pikachu bounced into the room and growled cutely.
"IT'S A SQUIRREL!!!" An electronic voice suddenly squealed.
Without warning, a small silver robot raced forward and glomped Pikachu in a vice-like hug.
"Where'd that robot come from?" King asked.
"It belongs to Zim. According to Dib, Irkan invaders are each assigned a Standard-issue Information Retrieval unit," April said. "Apparently, this one is called 'GIR'."
"'GIR'?" Hiroshi pondered. "What's the 'G' stand for?"
Zim's defective SIR unit continued to giggle and squeeze the yellow pokémon even though Pikachu was using his most powerful electric attacks.
"GIR!" Zim shouted. "Leave the sparky...hurty...disgusting Earth creature alone! We are here to capture Experiment 626!"
"Hmm?" GIR answered with a dumbfounded stare.
"Capture the fluffy one!" Zim ordered.
"Yes, my master!" GIR's blue eyes flashed red as he dropped the gasping pokémon and saluted.
GIR then spotted something shinny on one of the commissary tables and promptly ran straight to it, brimming with excited giggling.
Zim growled as his robot servant stared at a spoon instead of following his orders.
The Irkan didn't have time to correct his minion because Stitch had grabbed the spindly metal legs he was perched upon and swung him into the table GIR was standing at.
GIR simply followed the spoon as it sailed out into the hall.
Stitch then chucked Zim directly at Inuyasha who deflected the alien projectile.
"That's it!" Inuyasha said us he grasped the hilt of the sword at his side.
As the half-demon drew his sword, the blade became impossibly large with a mane of white fur on the guard of the handle.
"The Tetseiga," Daisuke pre-emptively answered. "Is the powerful mystic sword bequeathed to Inuyasha by his full-demon father. It is said to have the ability to slay a thousand demons with a single swing."
"Let's hope he doesn't try to do that in here," J.R. said.
"I'm with you,” Daffy said. "We get enough collateral damage from the freaks in the ring. We don't need them taking out the place where we eat too."
"And we don't want anybody to get seriously hurt," April scolded.
"Oh, yeah,” Daffy unconvincingly replied. "That too."
"You're goin' down, Fluffy!" Inuyasha shouted as he attacked Stitch with a cleaving strike.
...Which Stitch stopped cold as he clasped all four of his hands onto the Tetseiga's blade.
"What the--?!?" Inuyasha gaped right before 626 pushed forward and shoved the hilt of the half-demon's sword right into his face.
Stitch scampered up the massive blade and leaped at Inuyasha, sending them both to the ground fighting tooth and nail.
"Pikaaa!" The pokémon growled as he charged up and sat poised to zap his two opponents fighting on the ground in front of him.
However, Pikachu was stopped when a pair of slender arms wrapped around him from behind and lifted him off the floor into a comforting embrace.
"You're done fighting now, right?"
The soft, angelic voice instantly soothed Pikachu and all the anger and hostility from the fight left him completely.
"Pika?" Pikachu looked up into the bright blue eyes of the smiling young woman.
Her beautiful face was framed by long strands of light brown hair and the blue markings, the triangles on her cheeks and the vertical slash on her forehead only seemed to add to her celestial beauty.
"We'll let these nice people finish their argument," She said, still holding onto Pikachu as she stood up to leave the room. "We have another who needs your help."
The young woman in highly ornate white and blue celestial robes carried the pokémon out of the fight.
"What's she doing here?" Daisuke pondered as he watched the young woman leave the fight scene.
"Divine intervention?" Hiroshi suggested.
Inuyasha and Stitch knocking over yet another table during their brawl, spraying the floor with food and equipment, interrupted their momentary revelry.
"However, Stitch and Inuyasha are still going at it," April observed.
"I don't think anything is going to stop those two," J.R. said.
A sudden laser blast separated the two.
"Except maybe that."
Zim returned to the fray blasting away only at Stitch, who answered with a snarling hiss as he scampered out into the hall.
"Meega, nala kwishta!"
"Gasp!" Zim gasped. "That's disgusting!"
"I'm not sure what Stitch said,” Daisuke mentioned. "But I'm pretty sure I should be glad the universal translators didn't pick up on it."
"Get back here!" Inuyasha shouted as he ran into the hall followed by a hail of purple laser fire.
"He's mine, you smelly Earth-hybrid!" Zim said as he too skittered out into the hall. "You shall not take my robot bee!!!"
"'Robot...Bee'?" King asked.
"One too many times through the teleporter there, Spock," Daffy interjected.
Zim followed them into the hallway and turned to find Inuyasha in the middle of a stare down with a chair-wielding Stitch fifty feet down the hall (Of course, where exactly 626 got the Lay-Z-Boy recliner he held over his head, no one knows).
Inuyasha stood poised and ready as Stitch snarled and threw the living room piece at his opponents, which was turned to a cloud of ash by one of Zim's lasers.
"Ha! Irkan furniture-based projectile weapon technology is far beyond--Hey!" Zim crowed until Inuyasha pushed him out of the way and ran passed him down the hall.
Zim followed the half-demon to the spot where 626 had thrown the plush chair and through the new hole in the wall Stitch had created a mere moment before.
Inuyasha and Zim emerged into a narrow, dark hallway with even more pipes running along the ceiling.
"Where'd he go?" Inuyasha asked although he didn't care if Zim answered or not.
A sudden skittering noise surprised them from behind, but when they turned to attack...nothing.
"There!" Inuyasha shouted as the noise came from the opposite direction, but again they missed spotting their prey.
"DEATH FROM BEHIND!!!" Zim squealed as he laid laser-fueled waste to another empty wall.
When the dust cleared, the Irkan and half-demon were left staring at a burned, but blank wall. Stitch was still nowhere in sight.
The darkness of the narrow hall covered the pair of rivals like a thick fog. The silence was deafening as they tried in vain to find which direction Stitch would attack from.
The pipes hissed. They waited. The darkness remained still. Until...
"I'M DANCIN' LIKE A MONKEY!!!"
Zim and Inuyasha jumped back in surprise as Gir continued to saunter like a simian.
"DO THE MONKEY DANCE!"
The two visibly relaxed.
"Whew!" Zim sighed in relief. "For a second there…”
Stitch suddenly burst through the cinderblock wall with a menacing growl, grabbed Inuyasha, and pulled him through.
"Hey!" Zim protested. "626 is MINE!!!"
Stitch dragged the half-demon though the wall into the arena's vast garage area then viciously chucked him across the room and into the side of a steel dumpster.
Stitch picked up a readily available steel girder and prepared to smash the half-demon once and for all. He would have too if a purple flash of light not suddenly disintegrated the steel beam.
Stitch stared at the remaining hunk of melted metal in his hands with a curious coo, then growled at the voice shouting from behind him.
"Your secrets of life, the universe and everything will be MINE!!!" Zim shouted as he leaped through the hole in the wall, Gir traipsing behind giggling like a madman.
"42!" Stitch shouted although he didn't quite know why.
Immediately the Irkan began shooting wildly at Experiment 626, narrowly missing a recovering Inuyasha.
"Hey!" Inuyasha shouted as he dodged a laser blast that turned the dumpster behind him into smelly slag. "Watch it!"
While Stitch skittered around the room avoiding Zim's attacks, Inuyasha dodged stray shots and charged forward. While Zim's attention was focused on 626, the half-demon used the massive Tetseiga to hack off the laser-spouting spider-like appendages of Zim's pack.
"WAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!” Zim screamed hysterically as he writhed around on the cement floor. “WAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!”
“Whoa!” Hiroshi shouted. “Inuyasha just sliced through Zim's weapons like butter!”
“They were just metal though, right?” A concerned April asked. “Does it really hurt that much?”
Instantly, Zim sprang up without any trace of pain and got strait into Inuyasha's face.
“You stupid, dog-smelly humanoid!” Zim shouted. “Why did you attack me?!?”
“You were shooting at me!!!” Inuyasha shouted back.
Gir began to play with a severed metal leg, naming it “Mr. Floppy”.
Seemingly out of nowhere, a steel dumpster flipped over and trapped all three of them. Stitch scampered onto the scene and snickered as he knocked on the side of his successful trap.
“It looks like Stitch has incapacitated his opponents,” J.R. said. "It looks like this match is over."
"Just great!" Inuyasha's voice echoed from inside the dumper. "Now I've got to get us outta here."
"I know!" Gir cheered gleefully from inside the bin as the sound of something activating came from inside. "I'll use this thermal detonator I found!"
"Where did you even get that?" An amazed Zim asked his robot lackey.
"Internet," Gir stated simply.
"'Thermal detonator'?" April asked.
"You...don't want to know," Daisuke said as he slowly began to inch his way underneath the commentating table, futile as it may be.
Stitch just smiled evilly and gave two loud knocks that echoed within the metal bin.
"When I get outta here I'm--" Inuyasha threated before Stitch whacked the dumpster, sending it into the far wall and setting off the thermal detinator.
"Oh no, this will never do," the small swirling vortex with female arms said as she floated through the grand crater that used to be the EMW Arena and a large part of New York City.
"There have been way too many cataclysmic explosions tonight," the Great Will of the Macrocosm said as she reset the world.
* * * * *
Stitch just smiled evilly and gave two loud knocks that echoed within the metal bin.
"When I get outta here I'm--" Inuyasha threated before Stitch whacked the dumpster, sending it sliding into the far wall.
A small explosion of light and a puff of smoke spewed from the dumpster before one side fell off, dispelling an unconscious Zim and Inuyasha.
Gir tumbled out and began making "garbage angles" in the smoldering refuse until Stitch scampered up to the playing robot.
They stared at eachother a moment before Stitch punted Gir across the garage and began rumaging through the pile of trash, producing an odd belt made of tattered leather with a plate made of a hubcap and pieces of glass.
"STITCH...HARDCORE CHAMPION!!!" Experiment 626 cackled loudly and held the tattered championship above its head. "ALOHA!"
High-pitched maniacal laughter filled the backstage corridors of the arena as Stitch scampered away into the darkness with the intention of wreaking even more havoc and chaos.
* * * * *
"Looks like that thermal detinator was a dud after all," King sighed in relief.
"I guess that means Stitch wins," April said, "And appearantly we now have a Hardcore Championship."
"Looks like," J.R. agreed.
"What happened? Are we dead?" Daisuke asked as he got back into his seat.
"STITCH WINS!!!" Hiroshi screamed above the roaring crowd. "STITCH WINS THE HARDCORE TITLE!!!"
"Yeah, I'm dead," Daisuked sighed. "I'm dead and I'm in hell."