“Thanks again for that interview April,” J.R. said as the sole female commentator reclaimed her seat at ringside and headset.
“Isn’t it tough for you, April?” King asked with mock concern. “I could rub your shoulders and make you feel better!”
“No thank you, King,” April said with an icy glare, but continued after she calmed slightly. “It’s all part of a reporter’s job.”
The lights in the stadium dimmed slightly as an ominous voice came over the speakers in a creepy whisper.
“Let the bodies hit the floor.
Let the bodies hit the floor.
Let the bodies hit the floor.
Let the bodies hit the...”
Then the voice screamed.
The loud heavy metal of “Bodies” by Drowning Pool blasted the eardrums of everyone in the stadium as a diminutive old man dressed in a brown gi bounced from backstage and down the ramp, cackling gleefully, followed by four taller fighters
“The following match-up is an eight man Survivor Series Elimination Match,” The Announcer happily announced to the perpetually cheering crowd. “First, being lead to the ring by the Master of the ‘Anything-Goes School of Martial Arts’, Happosai, the team of Morrigan Aensland, Haohmaru, Bulleta B. Hood, and Vega, A.K.A. The Happi Team!!!”
The team of menacing looking fighters appeared much more dangerous than happy as they marched down the ramp after the bounding Happosai.
Okay, so only three of them looked really menacing.
The little girl in a red dress and hooded cape seemed a little out of place, especially with her cute smiling face framed by curly blond hair, and the butterflies dancing around her head. A small dog with a blue bow pranced around her skipping feet.
Unnoticed by the others, Daisuke paled even deeper at the mere sight Bulleta B. Hood skipping down the ramp.
“What’s a cute little sprite like B.B. Hood doing with a bunch of psychos like these?” Daffy wondered out loud.
“Trust me,” Daisuke gulped when he regained the ability to speak. “She belongs.”
Morrigan, the beautiful succubus in a skintight black leotard and pink silk tights, smiled seductively, winked, and blew kisses to any of the salivating boys in the audience lucky enough to catch her eye (Which was just about any of them lining either side of the ramp). The long purple bat wings on her back, and the smaller pair atop her head, in her luxurious lime green hair, did nothing to off set her striking sexual appeal.
“Woo-Hoo!” King hollered from ringside. “Look at Morrigan!!! Puppies! Puppies! I wonder if I can get her phone number?”
“King,” April warned. “She’s a succubus. She’ll suck out your soul and leave you a withered husk.”
“Yeah,” The King cheerfully replied. “But what a way to go!”
“Hey, as long as she sucks something,” Daffy agreed, ogling the ancient seductress.
“I’m warning you Duck,” April said as she glared at her mismatched commenting partner.
“What?” Daffy shouted defensively.
The women in the audience would have been downright jealous of Morrigan if they weren’t bust with eye candy of their own.
Directly behind the slinky strutting Morrigan marched a dashingly handsome man with a long braid blond hair hanging down his back. Across his chest and right arm a tattoo of a large purple snake matched the purple of his matador pants, with red sash wrapped around is waist.
Another striking feature was the beauty of the weapons he carried. On his left arm he wore an ornately decorated golden gauntlet with three long razor-sharp claws. In his right hand, he held an equally elegant white metal facemask.
The look of his vain male beauty was almost enough to disguise the gleam of sadistic insanity in his cold blue eyes, from all but the most observant of spectators. J.R. is one of those spectators.
“This Vega looks like serious business,” J.R. noted.
“He’s been known far and wide as the most sadistic fighter in the Street Fighter Tournament,” April agreed.
“He looks like trouble for your friends, April,” Hiroshi chimed in.
“I think they all look like trouble,” April said, eyeing Morrigan coldly as the Happi Team passed the commentating table on the way to their corner.
April shuttered when Vega blew her a kiss as he passed by.
The final member of the team, Haohmaru, walked by the commentating table with a grim look of determination on his face. He wore a loose fitting white samurai gi with black trim. A red sash, similar to Vega’s, was tied around his waist, another tied his long unruly dark brown hair, making it seem like a large porcupine had died on his head. A katana sword was strapped to his back, and a sake jug hung from his belt. Although he walked to the ring in silence.
“I thought Haohmaru was a noble samurai warrior, what’s he doing on a team like this?” King quickly noted, then turned his attention back to Morrigan as she climbed the steps into the ring. “Mmm,” King mumbled quietly. “Like two pigs fighting under a blanket.”
“Haohmaru is a samurai,” Daisuke answered, ignoring the latter of King’s remarks. “Problem is, he thinks that validates anything he does as a noble action. Even when he does the wrong thing.”
o/` T-U-R-T-L-E Power!
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! o/`
As the phat old skool beats of “Turtle Power” by Partners In Kryme were turned up over the cheering crowd, four humanoid turtle creatures appeared on the ramp lead by a giant rat in a purple martial arts robe.
“And their opponents! Being accompanied to the ring by their sensei, Master Splinter, from the sewers of New York City, Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael, and Michaelangelo, THE TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES!!!”
While Splinter used his walking stick to quietly and stoically walk to the ring, his young pupils shouted, hollered, and waved to the cheering crowd, excited to finally be out of the shadows ninja are usually accustomed to.
“I hope your friends are better fighters than they look,” Daffy noted. “Of course, that other fruity group doesn’t look all that intimidating either.”
“Don’t worry,” April curtly replied. “They are.”
“So you’re saying it’s a sure thing?” Daffy asked while dialing up his bookie on his cell phone (There go the gambling jokes again).
“They’ll have to be in order to beat the psycho squad that makes up Happosai’s team!” Hiroshi shouted.
“What are you talking about?!?” King incredulously shrieked “It looks to me like the freaks are the five-foot-tall turtles getting into the ring! I’d rather root for the team with the samurai, the pretty boy, the little girl, and the puppies, uhh, I mean Morrigan.”
The four teens of the mean green machine climbed into the ring and faced off against their odd collection of adversaries.
“Looks like the teams are well prepared and ready to rumble!” Hiroshi shouted.
“Give it a rest for a moment will ya?!? Geesh!” Daffy growled before turning back to his cell phone. “No, no! Twelve hundred!”
As the teams retreated to their respective corners, Happosai leapt on the top turnbuckle to give his team a pep talk.
“I have carefully chosen you all because you’re the best--” Happosai began.
“Yeah right,” Morrigan interrupted with a sultry giggle. “You picked us because we’re all as perverted and sadistic as you.”
“Too true,” The Master of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts nodded sagely. “In the spirit of our newfound camaraderie, I present some ancient words of advice and wisdom: Don’t lose. Haohmaru, you’re up first.”
Haohmaru simply nodded.
“Inspiring!” Morrigan sarcastically gushed and then stretched her long legs through the ropes in order to climb out of the ring (Much to the King’s delight). “This should prove to be...interesting, though.”
“That’s right!” B.B. happily agreed as she skipped out of the ring, puppy and butterflies following behind her. “This is going to be lots of fun!”
“I will enjoy finding out what color they bleed,” Vega hissed as he put on his mask.
“That’s the spirit!” Happosai cheerfully approved. “Now, there’s just one more thing...”
“I like that Happosai guy!” King said. “I can’t quite put my finger on it, but there’s something about him I--”
“APRIL!!!” The small Happosai squealed as he leapt onto the reporter’s chest and began nuzzling her breasts. “It’s always been my favorite month!”
“Wow-Wee!” Hiroshi whistled.
“Well,” Daisuke smirked. “I’m impressed.”
“How in the heck did you do that?” J.R. blanched.
“Well, J.R.,” April replied simply. “You don’t spend as much time as I do with adolescent martial artist mutants without learning a few things about protecting yourself.”
King and Daffy just glanced at the Happosai-sized hole in the stadium ceiling and gulped.
On the other side of the ring, three of the Ninja Turtles stood on the ring apron to encourage their brother in the ring.
“Go get’em, Bro!” The one with the orange mask, Michaelangelo, said with the accent of a California surfer.
“Agreed,” The purple masked Donatello spoke with an intellectual flair. “Good luck, Leo!”
“Whatever,” Raphael, in the red mask, griped with a Brooklyn accent. “I should be goin’ first.”
“Raphael,” Master Splinter said from ringside. “It was agreed that Leonardo would fight first.”
“I don’t remember agreein’ to anything,” Raph grumbled.
“Fight with honor, my son,” Splinter told the turtle with the blue mask in the ring.
“I will Master Splinter,” Leonardo bowed to his sensei then turned to the ring and his opponent.
“Looks like Leonardo of the turtles and Haohmaru are gonna start us off!” Hiroshi announced.
“It is an honor to fight you, noble samurai,” Leonardo said politely and bowed to his honorable opponent.
“Leonardo is demonstrating a traditional martial arts show of respect for one opponent before a match,” J.R. informed.
“That’s right, J.R.,” Daisuke agreed. “It’s a rare show of class and respect in this day and age. Quite refreshing really.”
Of course, Haohmaru replied by honorably kicking Leo in the face.
[SURVIVOR SERIES ELIMINATION MATCH]
[THE HAPPI TEAM]
[TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES]
“Whoa!” “Hey!” “Ay Chihuahua!” Was the general consensus of the entire commentating table at the surprise and severity of the attack.
“So much for class,” Daisuke sighed.
“And Haohmaru starts off with a vicious cheap-shot!” J.R. spat.
“That’s the way the game’s played J.R.,” Daffy argued. “Turtle Boy there shouldn’t have taken his eye off the guy here to beat the crap outta him.”
“What the heck was that?!?” Raphael shouted from ringside.
“What ever happened to ‘honor’ and ‘respect for one’s opponent’?” Leonardo asked looking up at the now smiling Haohmaru.
“ONE AS LEGENDARY AS I DOES NOT NEED TO SHOW RESPECT TO THE LIKES OF YOU,” Haohmaru spoke proudly (Trust me, for him, this is speaking). “HONOR IS NOT MEANT FOR DEMONS.”
“I see what you mean about him not having a microphone,” April muttered.
“Yeah,” Daisuke sighed. “It only gets worse.”
“Fine, you want to fight?” Leo said as he slipped into a fighting stance. “Let’s dance.”
“I WILL DANCE MY WAY TO VICTORY,” Haohmaru drew his long katana sword, grasped it in both hands, raised it high, and raced forward in attack.
“I see what you mean by it getting worse,” said April.
Leo drew the two katana from the back of his shell and blocked Haohmaru’s attack, slightly buckling under the sheer force of the blow. Leo then pressed forward with an attack of his own.
“Looks like Haohmaru and Leonardo are pretty evenly matched,” J.R. said as the twin blades of the turtle clashed against the skilled sword of the loud samurai, neither one giving or taking more than a few feet of the ring at a time.
“Master Splinter has trained his students very well in the art of Ninjitsu,” April said with a proud, knowing smile. “Not only is Leo the top of the class, he’s also the very best when it comes to the sword.”
True to April’s words, Leo matched his well-trained opponent blow for blow until a particularly savage strike of Haohmaru’s was blocked and then trapped by both of Leonardo’s katana. Both competitors closed in and remained locked in their position, the edges of each warrior’s sword dancing dangerously close to their opponent’s face.
“I ADMIT,” Haohmaru said, his sneering face mere inches from the turtle’s and his swords. “YOU ARE QUITE SKILLED. I WILL OFFER YOU ONE CHANCE TO SURRENDER AND SAVE YOURSELF FURTHER PAIN AND HUMILIATION.”
“How ‘bout, ‘No’,” Leo winced at his proximity to Haohmaru’s legendary booming voice.
“SO BE IT.”
Haohmaru suddenly jumped back, breaking the stalemate, and cleaved the air using a sort of spinning upwards strike with his sword, creating an impressive whirlwind that sped across the ring into the surprised turtle, hurtling him clear across the ring and into a turnbuckle on the opposite side.
“Haohmaru used his Secret Cyclone Slash to catch Leo off-guard,” Daisuke informed the viewers.
“Well it’s not a secret anymore,” Daffy quipped.
“Right...” Hiroshi replied in a sly conspiratorial tone.
“Okay,” Leo coughed, thanking every deity he could think of that he had such a thick shell. “I’ll admit, I’m impressed. That’s quite a move you have there.”
“TRULY!” Haohmaru proclaimed. “TO CALL ME AWESOME IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT!”
“And you’re so modest too,” Leo offered. “All right, no more fooling around.”
Haohmaru stared at his opponent across the ring and removed the sake jug from his belt to take a quick swig.
“AGREED,” Haohmaru said as he retied the jug onto his belt.
Immediately, Leonardo shot up with renewed vigor and attacked, to which Haohmaru responded in kind.
“And Leonardo and Haohmaru decide to kick it up a notch!” Hiroshi shouted in excitement at the fast paced swordplay in the ring. “BAM!!!”
“Okay, ‘Roshi,” Daisuke calmly scolded. “You need to stop with this blatant use of trademarked catch-phrases, ‘cause either you’ll get sued or I’ll have to kill you.”
“Haohmaru and Leonardo are pulling out all the stops!” J.R. said to the clanging chorus of clashing blades emanating from the ring.
Leonardo blocked one of Haohmaru’s attacks and used his other sword for an offensive attack, which was then blocked by the other end of Haohmaru’s longer blade and they were back in the stand-off they had just minutes before.
“GIVE UP NOW,” Haohmaru ordered, his face again inches from the blue mask of his opponent. “YOU CAN’T POSSIBLY WIN.”
“Hey pal,” Leonardo said, his patience wearing visibly thin as he pulled back from the stand-off this time. “Why don’t you just...SHUT UP!”
With a high kick belying his species and heavy shell on his back, Leo caught Haohmaru under his chin, forcibly shutting his loud mouth.
Leonardo leaped over another swipe of Haohmaru’s katana, and delivered another kick to the warrior’s face while in mid-air.
When he landed, Leo blocked another attack and used the flat end of his other katana to whack Haohmaru’s wrists and used his first katana to knock the long sword out of the samurai’s hands and clear across the ring.
One last spinning kick and Haohmaru was put down for the count.
“Oh!” Hiroshi cried. “Memo to Haohmaru: You just got served!”
“That’s not gonna become a catch phrase for you, is it?” Daisuke groaned.
Daisuke rolled his eyes as the referee counted Haohmaru down and out.
“Haohmaru has been eliminated!” The Announcer proclaimed.
Leonardo watched as the renegade ronin rolled out of the ring and stumble to the back, only to have the young Bulleta B. Hood jump into the ring to take his place.
Leonardo looked down into the sparking blue eyes of the little blond-haired girl, who smiled brightly at him with butterflies dancing around her head and a puppy at her feet.
“Uhh...,” Leo muttered and turned back to the corner with his brothers. “Mikey, you’re good with kids. You handle this.”
“Umm...okay,” The orange mask clad turtle said uneasily as he was tagged in by his brother.
As Leonardo got out of the ring, Michaelangelo entered and walked over to the living picture of innocence and serenity in the middle of the ring.
“Hey, ya little cutie,” Mikey said, returning the young girl’s bright smile. “You don’t really want to fight us, do you?”
“Uh-uh,” Bulleta shook her head, continuing to smile sweetly. “I want to kill you all and sell your carcasses to the highest bidder!”
Michaelangelo barely had enough time to dodge the hail of bullets B.B. Hood fired from the machine gun she pulled from her basket.
“Mikey!!!” Leonardo yelled as his brother dove through the ropes and ducked under the relative safety provided by the side the ring.
The other three turtles quickly joined Michaelangelo as B.B.’s aim shifted to the ring post they were standing at a moment before.
“Are automatic weapons even allowed in the ring?!?” April shouted.
“The Ref’s not stopping the match,” Daisuke observed. “So, yeah, I guess.”
“Sorry about that Mikey,” Leo said when he righted himself after diving for cover along with Donny and Raph.
“Not your fault she’s really a psycho dressed like Little Red Riding Hood,” Michaelangelo responded.
“One thing is certain,” Donatello said as another hail of fire chipped away at the ring directly above their heads. “That’s no ordinary little girl.”
“I can keep doing this all day,” Bulleta laughed maniacally from the middle of the ring. “But unless you get your shell in here within ten seconds, you’ll be eliminated by count-out!”
“Bulleta B. Hood is playing it smart,” J.R. said. “She’s keeping Michaelangelo out of the ring long enough for him to be counted out and eliminated from the match.”
“She may be smart,” Daffy replied. “But she’s still one crazy little bitch!”
“For once, Duck,” Daisuke said. “I agree with you.”
“Stay down, Mikey!” April shouted with obvious concern in her voice. “Stay down!”
“1...2...3...!” The Referee began to count in the ring, hoping the nice turtle on the outside won’t be foolish enough to stand-up and get shot.
“Eliminated by me or by getting counted out,” B.B. Hood smiled sinisterly. “Either way, I earn my pay (Personally, I’m still hoping for the first one)!”
“Hey!” Leonardo shouted, popping up from the side of the ring on B.B.’s left.
“Over here!” Donatello joined in next to Leo.
“Try your luck!” Raph yelled waving his hands along with his brothers. “Shoot the turtle, win a prize!”
“Count the shells, Suck-a-duck!” Bulleta B. Hood laughed as she aimed at the turtles to her left, but before she could fire, Mikey popped up from the other side and threw his nunchucks at the deranged girl as he climbed back in the ring.
The nunchaku hit Bulleta’s arms and knocked the machine gun out of her hands before she could fire. When B.B. turned to the direction of the attack, she saw Mikey’s three-fingered fist just before it struck her in the face.
“With a little help from his team, Michaelangelo just manages to break the ten count and disarm the insane B.B. Hood!” Jim Ross cheered as the other Ninja Turtles climbed back onto the ring apron.
“He just hit a little girl J.R.!” Jerry “The King” Lawler spat. “Even I know it’s not right to go around hitting little girls!”
“She was shooting at him, King!” April argued.
“Oh geez! Sorry! My bad!” Mikey frantically apologized to the form of the little girl sprawled on the mat, which then started to...laugh?
“I’m sorry,” Daffy interrupted the argument between April and the King. “Is B.B. Hood...laughing?”
“I was hoping one of you stupid reptiles had a spine underneath those thick shells,” Bulleta hissed as she lifted herself up. “Now things can get interesting.”
That’s when Michaelangelo got a look under the red hood of B.B.’s cape, and what he saw chilled him to the bone (And he’s already cold blooded). Her eyes were no longer sparkling blue beacons of innocence, but now manic white voids of pure malice. Her mouth was twisted from a sweet grin into a sadistic smile that indicated naught but evil and cruel intentions.
“I take it all back,” King shrieked upon getting a glance at the girl’s face himself. “This is scary! April, hold me!”
“Not...a...chance,” April said with a glare that frightened King even more.
“This is why she belongs on Happosai’s team,” Daisuke said with a gulp.
“This girl is nuts!” Hiroshi shouted.
Bulleta leapt into the air to deliver a flying kick to Michaelangelo, who was now off-balance as B.B.’s small dog cowered behind his legs, afraid of his mistress’s deranged behavior.
“Mikey is knocked down, but not out!” Hiroshi shouted. “But B.B. has a--!”
“Roll, Mikey!” Raph shouted from ringside. “Roll!”
Michaelangelo moved just in time to avoid a bullet from the pistol B.B. Hood had pulled from her basket.
“I hate guns,” Leonardo seethed. “They aren’t honorable.”
“You hate guns?!?” Mikey asked dodging another few shots. “How do you think I feel?”
Michaelangelo rolled once more as a few more bullets whizzed by his head. This time he came up near his discarded nunchaku, grabbed them and pulling the second pair from the weapons belt around his waste. Mikey swung both pairs around as he came up, knocking the gun clear out of Bulleta’s hands.
“And Michaelangelo has again managed to disarm B.B. Hood!” J.R. again cheered.
“But the question is,” Daisuke began. “How many more tricks (And by ‘tricks’ I mean ‘weapons’) does Bulleta have in that basket of hers? Michaelangelo really needs to focus on getting that out of her hands.”
Michaelangelo leapt into the air to deliver a flying kick, however B.B. quickly pulled what looked like a wine bottle out of her basket as a defense.
“What’s she going to do?” Daffy blurted. “Hope he gets drun--HOLY CRAP!!!”
A great spurt of fire suddenly shot out of the bottle with amazing force, burning the air-born turtle and knocking him back down to the mat.
“That’s just not physically possible,” Donatello complained.
“Don’t tell me!” The slightly charred Mikey groaned as he got up from the mat. “Tell her!”
“This is too easy!” Bulleta giggled as she put the flame-throwing wine bottle back into her picnic basket. “I’m going to be so rich!”
“You mean you really kill people for money?” Michaelangelo asked, slightly unbelieving of this whole situation.
“Damn strait,” B.B. Hood replied proudly. “I may enjoy it, but fun doesn’t keep food on the table or M-16’s in the basket.”
“She’s kidding, right?” Hiroshi gulped.
“Probably not,” Daisuke said.
The petite bounty hunter swung her basket at the prone turtle. Michaelangelo fell backwards, narrowly missing getting beaned by the weapons laden picnic basket. Mikey lashed out with a two-toed foot and kicked the basket right out of Bulleta’s hands in mid-swing.
“Michaelangelo has kicked the Bulleta B. Hood’s bottomless basket of ballistics back beyond the boundaries of the ring!” Hiroshi shouted, to which
the other commentators politely applauded.
“Okay,” Daffy reluctantly slurred. “That was pretty good.”
“Maybe,” Daisuke warned. “But don’t count Bulleta out yet. She’s bound to have a few more tricks up her bodice.”
Back in the ring, Michaelangelo was just getting up in time to see Bulleta pull out a large bowie knife and lunge for him like a psycho killer from a slasher flick.
“B.B. Hood has pulled out a large hunting knife!” J.R. yelled. “She’s going to try to gut Michaelangelo!”
“She can try J.R.!” April cheered. “Since he lasted this long, I know Mikey has a good chance of coming out on top!”
“You call that a knife?!?” Hiroshi skeptically shouted, pulling a metallic object out of his pants pocket. “This is a knife!”
“Hiroshi,” Daisuke deadpanned. “That’s a spoon.”
Mikey deftly dodged Bulleta’s wild strikes and slashes, retaliating whenever possible. Mikey dodged again and snapped a backhand punch to little effect. Next, Mikey tried an even stronger punch. B.B. Hood simply rolled with it and resumed her attack, actually managing to leave a gouge in the front of the turtle’s shell.
“Wow,” King said. “Looks as if B.B. Hood can take it as well as she can dish it out!”
After a painful wound to Mikey’s shoulder, B.B. Hood raised her knife for a final blow to the head. Mikey quickly grabbed her arm and twisted it, forcing her to drop the knife, and kicked her in the stomach. He then turned around and judo-threw her across the ring. Bulleta flew into the ring post upside-down, fell to the mat and, mercifully, didn’t get up.
“And Lil’ Miss Hood goes down hard!” Hiroshi cheered as the Ref counted. “Bulleta B. Hood: You got ser--!”
“What did I tell you about using copyrighted slogans?” Daisuke said, his hand slapped over his partner’s mouth.
“Bulleta B. Hood has been eliminated!”
Michaelangelo watched as B.B.’s small dog began to drag the unconscious young girl from the ring, all signs of her previous malicious insanity gone from her sweetly sleeping features.
“Dude,” Michaelangelo sighed. “I am so not having fun anymore.”
“Mikey!” Leonardo shouted from ringside. “Behind you!”
The turtle turned around just in time to catch a stiletto heel upside the chin.
“Weeee!!!” King squealed as the succubus in the ring straitened herself from the unbelievable back bend she used to deliver that kick. “It’s Morrigan!”
“King--” J.R. began.
“You know what,” April said. “Just let him go off in that little world of his. He’s obviously happier there.”
“Huh?” King asked.
“Nothing,” Daisuke said. “Look, King. Bouncy, bouncy.”
“What?!? Where?!?” King darted his head back and forth then looked back into the ring. “Woo-hoo! Go, Morrigan! Kick him again!”
Instead, Morrigan floated back across the ring and the wings on her back transformed into a large purple laser blaster that made even the Series 4 Deatomizer look like a peashooter.
“Now dat’s a hell of a gun!” Daffy exclaimed.
“Mikey!!!” April screamed in horror as Morrigan fired the massive weapon, her dark soul energy washing over the hapless turtle warrior.
Michaelangelo was out long before he even hit the mat.
“Oh my god!” Hiroshi screamed. “Morrigan has just blasted the already wounded Mikey right into next week!”
“I don’t think the ref even needs to count. He’s done for,” Daisuke said as the referee did indeed begin to count. “Oops. Sorry, April.”
“Michaelangelo has been eliminated!”
Morrigan sauntered around the ring to a mixed reaction from the crowd. Her wings and mist dancing around her and moving with her every sultry step.
“And Morrigan has the nerve to strut her stuff after that cheap move she just pulled!” J.R. said with distain.
“You’re right J.R.,” King...agreed? “This is great! Lookit her go!”
At ringside, the rat, Master Splinter, pulled his wounded student from the ring and helped the EMT’s carry him to the back.
“Master Splinter?” Leonardo questioned.
“I will see to Michaelangelo,” Splinter replied calmly. “You three must stay here and finish the match. Fight well, my sons.”
“We will Master Splinter,” Leonardo said as he and Donatello bowed to their departing sensei.
“You better believe it!” Raphael growled as he jumped into the ring.
“What? You mean there are more of you creatures?” Morrigan said with a condescending laugh. “I hope you have more stamina then the last one. He was no fun at all.”
“You like fun?” Raphael, the turtle both wearing and seeing red, snarled as he took his sais out from his belt and gave them a quick spin before settling into an attack pose. “Let’s have some fun.”
“As uninspired as it is, at least your vocabulary isn’t as annoying as the last one’s,” Morrigan snarked. “I’m so glad I took him out.”
Raphael roared as he attacked, starting with a swipe from his sai and a quick kick to the midsection, both of which missed entirely as Morrigan seemed to disappear and reappear behind the angry turtle.
“I really hope that’s not the best you can do,” Morrigan snorted as both her and Raph turned to face each other. “Come on. Try again.”
And Raph did with the same exact result; only this time Morrigan whacked him in the back with her wing when she reappeared.
“Morrigan is in total control of this match,” J.R. said. “And it’s only making Raphael madder!”
“And if he’s not careful, Morrigan could end up controlling him too,” Daisuke mentioned. “Of course, Raphael isn’t a turtle that’s known for his self control, is he April?”
“I’m afraid not,” April solemnly agreed, watching as the turtle in the ring rashly attacked his infuriatingly seductive opponent. “And this is defiantly not one of his most shining moments.”
“Go Morrigan!” King cheered as Raphael took one more failed attempt at the tricky succubus.
“Bored now,” Morrigan yawned before the wings on her back lashed out at Raphael as grasping tendrils that ensnared the sai wielding mutant.
“Morrigan has incapacitated Raphael!” J.R. announced.
“Morrigan clearly has the upper hand,” April replied. “But Raph still looks like he’s ready to go down fighting!”
“Looks like Morrigan has this match all wrapped up!” Hiroshi said.
“That was an absolutely tasteless and unnecessary,” Daffy snapped.
“You were going to say it, weren’t you?” Daisuke calmly asked.
“... ... ... yes.”
“Why can’t she do that to me?!?” The King cried.
The wings of the succubus remained tightly wrapped around the thrashing turtle, pinning his arms and constricting around him, nearly crushing him even through his shell.
“Are you trying to struggle?” Morrigan asked the turtle kicking in the crushing grip of her wings as she pulled Raphael closer in order to enact her ultimate plan. “That’s adorable! Utterly pointless, but adorable none the less.”
Raphael’s savage struggling gradually slowed as he was drawn closer to the seductively grinning succubus.
“Why doesn’t Morrigan just finish Raphael off?” Hiroshi asked at Morrigan’s apparent reluctance to simply smash her captive to the mat.
“Because she has something else in mind,” April said angrily.
“Like what?” Daffy asked.
“Morrigan is a succubus,” Daisuke said as Raphael reached close enough for Morrigan to stroke his cheek. “And a particularly powerful one at that. It looks like Morrigan is trying to take control of yet another poor male victim.”
“I want to be a poor male victim!!!” King whined as he watched Raphael finally stop kicking in Morrigan’s embrace.
The crowd gasped as one when the beautiful green-haired succubus pressed her luscious ruby lips to the green, lipless beak of the red masked mutant turtle in her wings.
“And it looks like she succeeded.”
“Awwww!” King groaned in dismay. “Lucky shell-head!”
“Dammit!” April shouted, anger breaking through her normally calm anchor façade.
“No!” J.R. shouted. “Morrigan’s put Raphael under her spell! Without control over his own actions, what will Morrigan make him do?!?”
“Whatever she wants!” King answered with no small hint of jealousy.
In her wings, Morrigan’s newest conquest hung completely limp with a blank expression on his perpetually angry face.
“Hmm...I wonder...” Morrigan thought, eyeing the strong humanoid turtle in her wings up and down. “Maybe later. First, I want you to destroy your three brothers at ringside, then go in the back and kill the wounded one and the rat! You’ll do that for your mistress, won’t you?”
“No!” Leonardo shouted from ringside, hoping the strong-willed Raph could break through, but preparing for the worst in case he can’t. “Snap out of it, Raph!”
“Logistics of her enchantment aside,” Donatello observed, readying his bo staff for the onslaught of his unfortunate brother. “This is really bad.”
However, neither turtle was prepared for what happened next.
“Mistress?” The broken Raphael said with a dreamy sigh.
“Yes, my pet?” Morrigan purred, pulling her new slave close.
“I’m not as stupid as you think I am.”
A sickening crack echoed through the arena as Raphael head butted the unsuspecting succubus.
“Yes!” April cheered. “Raphael just resisted Morrigan’s spell, knocked her for a loop, and escaped and the crushing grip of her wings!!!”
“Crushing, groping,” Daffy said. “Same difference.”
“Wings are kinky!” King giggled. “Wait! He just hit Morrigan! That’s not right!”
“Yeah, Baby!” Hiroshi shouted with glee. “With that move, you might say Morrigan has been left Shell Shocked!!!”
“No, I wouldn’t,” Daisuke flatly stated.
Raphael moved forward to attack the dazed Morrigan when he suddenly felt something hit him hard on the back of the head.
“What was that?!?” Hiroshi shouted
“I don’t know,” J.R. admitted. “It was too fast to get a good look a--Wait a minute!”
“Well,” Daisuke said. “Look who’s back.”
“What the--?!?” Raph yelled after stumbling forward a few feet and turning around to see what had attacked him. He found it standing on the turnbuckle, right next to Vega, with his arms crossed and a stern look on his face...
“Happosai?!?” Hiroshi shouted in astonishment.
“Happosai,” Daisuke responded calmly. “And why are you so surprised?”
“I...don’t know,” Hiroshi pondered.
“That was a cheap shot!” Leonardo argued from across the ring. “Outside interference is against the rules!”
“The element of surprise and using your opponent’s own weakness against him is the backbone of Anything Goes Martial Arts,” Happosai wisely explained. “With this knowledge there is no way you can defeat my hand-picked champions.”
“Check the scoreboard again, Gramps,” Raph chuckled mirthlessly. “Your team’s down two-to-one.”
“Apparently, Morrigan, my dear,” Happosai said to the succubus behind Raphael. “These little turtles just aren’t man enough to handle you, are they?”
“Raph! Watch out!” April’s warning came too late as Morrigan kicked Raphael in the back while the diminutive martial arts master drew his attention.
“We’ll be all tied up soon enough, Little Turtle,” Morrigan smirked. “And, sadly, not in a way you’ll enjoy.”
“I’m not too disappointed,” Raph retorted. “You don’t look like you got a lot to offer anyway.”
Happosai met Raphael’s insult with another super fast attack from behind.
As soon as Happosai again landed on the top of the ring post, Raphael spun around and lunged toward him. Happi easily leaped over the sai swipe and bounded off of the turtle’s shell, landing right next to the luscious legs of Morrigan.
So Raphael punched Vega instead.
“Don’t worry, Pretty Boy,” Raph said to the masked man looking up at him from the floor outside the ring. “You’re next.”
Behind him, Morrigan prepared for another attack.
“You had your chance with the best, Raphael,” Morrigan sighed, feigning disappointment. “But now you die like the rest! SOUL FIST!”
The yellow ball of demonic soul energy struck Raph in the back, his shell providing little actual protection, and sent him down to the mat where Happosai quickly renewed his attack.
“This is deplorable!” J.R. shouted. “Happosai isn’t supposed to be in this match!!! What happened to the referee?!?”
“What do you think?” April asked rhetorically, looking into the ring to see the old ref mindlessly watch Morrigan bend over and stretch.
While that happened, Happosai continued to kick, stomp, and jump on Raphael. Happosai then hopped onto the top turnbuckle to gain some height.
“It looks like Happosai is getting ready to finish off Raphael,” Daisuke said.
“How is that perverted old midget able to do so much damage?” April asked.
“Do to his appearance and personality, it’s easy to forget that Happosai is actually a powerful martial arts master,” Daisuke said as Happosai jumped down, kicked Raph in the head once more, then leapt back up to the top turnbuckle.
“And a tricky little so-and-so to boot,” Daffy added while Happosai readied his final assault and jumped off the turnbuckle in a flying kick aimed for Raph’s head.
As Happosai leapt into the air, very few people noticed the figure that raced down the ramp.
“This is it!” Hiroshi shouted only an instant before a clawed foot struck Happosai in mid-air.
The tiny perv was knocked completely out of the ring, skidded across the mats on the outside, and head-first into the audience barricade.
The rat landed in the ring between his fallen student and a very powerful succubus.
“MASTER SPLINTER HAS INTERECPTED HAPPOSAI IN MID-ATTACK WITH A FLAWLESS FLYING KICK FROM THE RAMP!!!” Hiroshi shouted. “I DON’T BELIEVE IT!!!”
“Believe it, Hiroshi,” April said. “Master Splinter is one of a kind!”
“Are you able to continue, my son?” Splinter asked Raphael, never taking his eyes off the succubus across the ring.
“You better believe it,” Raphael grunted as he got to his feet.
“A giant rat?” Morrigan laughed. “Is this supposed to scare me?”
“I am not your opponent,” Splinter said before he leapt out of the ring, flipped through the air and landed in front of a recovering Happosai. “I am his.”
In the ring, Raphael attacked Morrigan as soon as his sensei was out of the way.
“I believe I should warn you of who you are dealing with,” Happosai said as he bounced out of the hole left by his impact into the barricade.
“I believe,” Splinter said, readying himself in a martial arts stance. “As the saying goes, that you should ‘put up or shut up’.”
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Happosai said, not even bothering to take a stance of his own. “HAPPO FIRE BURST!!!”
Splinter leapt back as the floor exploded where he had just been standing.
Happosai bound through the thin smoke left behind by his bomb and attacked Splinter wit a flurry of martial arts blows that were blocked by Splinter.
The evenly matched fight continued around the entire ring as Raphael and Morrigan continued their fight inside.
“It looks like there are now two amazing matches going on right in front of us!” J.R. said. “Raphael and Morrigan trading shots in the ring and the Masters, Splinter and Happosai, goin’ at it on the outside!”
“We’re definitely getting our money’s worth, J.R.!” Hiroshi agreed.
After a particularly impressive display of martial arts skill, Splinter broke through Happosai’s defense and knocked the Anything Goes Master to the padded mats. In response, Happosai quickly ducked under the ring apron and scampered underneath the ring.
Master Splinter jumped from the floor to the top of the turnbuckle, over the heated battle in the ring, landing on the outside at the other end. Splinter tossed up the ring apron to reveal...absolutely nothing.
“An opening!” Happosai shouted as he popped up from the crowd behind Splinter. “It’s over! HAPPO FIRE BURST!!!”
“I agree,” Splinter said as another salvo of small explosives headed towards him. “It is over.”
Master Splinter caught four of the five bombs, two in each hand, and instantly snuffed out their wicks in-between his fingers. He then spun quickly and whacked the final bomb with his whip-like tale, sending it right back at the lecherous cheat.
“Looks like Happosai's blasting off again!!!” Hiroshi cheered.
“Is it even worth responding to him anymore?” Daffy wondered.
“Do you think it’ll get him to stop?” Daisuke asked.
“At any rate,” J.R. said. “Through an impressive display, Master Splinter has taken Happosai out of the equation, allowing his student to continue his fight with Morrigan Aensland uninterrupted.”
Speaking of which, Raphael was currently on the defensive while Morrigan slashed at the turtle with her now razor-sharp wings.
Raph blocked an attack with his sai then grabbed the wing and yanked it down to the mat. He then drove his sai into the mat, pinning Morrigan’s wing and taking her down to one knee.
“You think that’ll be enough to beat me?” Morrigan scoffed as she continued her attack with her remaining free wing, managing to catch Raphael’s free arm and create a deep gash in it.
“Aargh!” Raphael grasped his bleeding arm and spoke through gritted teeth. “Maybe not, but it’ll keep you right were I want you.”
“Not for long, it won’t,” Morrigan said taking a swipe at the turtle’s legs.
Raph leapt over the Dark Stalker’s attack, stabbing his other sai down and into the mat with his uninjured arm.
Morrigan shrieked in pain as her other wing met the same fate as the first. With both wings pinned to the mat, Morrigan struggled to get up as Raphael stood tall before her.
“OH NO!” King shouted. “Get outta there Morrigan!”
“Morrigan’s trapped on her knees and it looks like she’s going down!” Hiroshi shouted as the rebellious turtle, finally the taller of the two, loomed over the trapped succubus.
“Really poor choice of words, ‘Roshi,” Daisuke slapped his forehead and groaned.
“Payback’s a bitch!” J.R. cheered.
“And so is Morrigan!” April added.
“Now it’s over,” Raph said as he reared back his fist. “Say ‘G’night’, Bat-Slut.”
Morrigan was out long before she even hit the mat.
“Morrigan Aensland has been eliminated!”
“And Raphael defeats Morrigan!” J.R. announced as the wings one Morrigan’s back and head transformed into a fleet of purple bats that carried her out of the ring. “Which leaves the score at three turtles to one member of Happosai’s team left.”
“That’s right, J.R.,” April said. “But Raph has to watch out because that last one is--Wait! Where is Vega?!?”
Sure enough, the corner for Happosai’s Happi Team stood empty, it’s final member nowhere to be seen.
“Heh,” Raphael sneered. “Pretty Boy probably got scared and ran off.”
“RAPH! LOOK OUT!” Leonardo shouted. “ABOVE YOU!”
Raphael flipped back just in time for Vega’s claws to miss impaling into his head.
“Vega was hanging from the Hell-in-a-Cell above the ring!!!” Hiroshi shouted. “He almost took out Raph in one attack!”
“He almost killed him,” April said in an annoyed tone. “What exactly are the rules here?”
“I don’t think EMW has actually hammered out all the details yet,” Daisuke said in apology. “Which could be bad news for those who like to fight fair, like your friends.”
“Why don’t you take that mask off so I can ruin that pretty face of yours,” Raphael sneered as he readied his sais once more.
“This mask isn’t to protect me!” Vega snarled. “You just aren’t worthy enough to look upon my glorious visage. Besides, I wouldn’t want you to get distracted while we’re fighting.”
“See how considerate Vega is?” King asked his nay saying partners. “The guy’s all class!”
“Yeah right,” April said.
“Someone’s got an awful high opinion of himself,” Donatello observed from ringside.
“Oh yeah?” Raph asked. “Well, it’s about time I knocked him down a peg or two.”
Vega’s eyes narrowed through the slits in his mask.
“Come and try.”
“And Raphael goes on the offensive,” J.R. said as the turtle ran across the ring to attack the masked madman.
Vega side-stepped Raph’s first strike and ducked underneath a spinning kick.
“Vega’s been put on the defensive by Raphael’s martial arts skill!” Hiroshi said right before Vega flipped backwards to avoid being hit in his masked face by the handle of Raph’s sai, kicking the mutant teen on the chin as he did so.
“But Vega’s Cage Fighting style is well suited to the confines of the ring,” Daisuke pointed out. “Allowing him to quickly turn the tables on his opponent.”
In the single moment Raphael was stunned, Vega rushed in and plunged his claws into the turtle’s unprotected side.
“VEGA JUST STABBED RAPHAEL IN THE SOFT FLESH BETWEEN HIS FRONT AND BACK SHELLS!!!” Hiroshi screamed, his voice carrying over Raphael’s own painful groan. “HE MAY HAVE PUNCTURED A VITAL ORGAN!!!”
“That has to be illegal!” April argued. “They should have stopped this match a long time ago!”
“GAH!!!” Raphael again groaned in pain and grasped his bleeding side as Vega yanked his claws out of the turtle’s hide. Vega then grabbed the front collar of Raph’s shell and tossed him into his brothers’ corner.
When Raphael attempted to stand and continue the fight, a purple-masked turtle reached out slapped and his critically injured brother on the shoulder.
“And a blind tag from Donatello mercifully takes Raphael out of the match,” J.R. said as the referee confirmed it.
“Thank God,” April sighed. “Raph’s okay, but that just means Donny now has to face that masked sociopath.”
“I don’t...need...help,” Raph managed to gasp out between ragged breaths as he finally stood up.
“No, you don’t want help,” Donatello corrected. “There’s a difference. I’m going in.”
“Be careful, Don,” Leonardo warned as his smartest brother climbed into the ring. “This guy is dangerous.”
“Tell me about it,” Raph griped as he took Donatello’s place on the outside and held his bleeding side.
“Why isn’t Raph going to the back to get medical attention?” April asked. “He’s been seriously injured!”
“He could go to the back, April, if he wants to abandon his team,” King said in a matter-of-fact tone. “Raphael was legally tagged out, so he may’ve been saved from Vega’s superior skills, but he’s still officially in the match.”
“I hate to say it, April,” J.R. said. “But King’s right.”
“Of course I’m right, J.R.!” King shouted. “In fact, Raphael should go to the back! He’s hurt! He can’t help his team anymore! He can’t fight!”
“But Raphael isn’t the type of guy who’s going to let that stop him, is he April?” Daisuke asked.
“No, he isn’t.”
“You are a small turtle in a very big ocean,” Vega chuckled, waving his clawed hand in a dismissive gesture directed at the bo staff wielding mutant across the ring. “Why don’t you go back to the sewers where your kind belong?”
“Have you ever actually been in a sewer?” Don asked with a smirk and twirled his staff. “With all that crud you spout, you’d fit right in.”
Without further banter, Vega attacked.
“Vega quickly takes the offensive,” J.R. said.
“Well, no wonder!” King responded. “Donatello’s the freshest fighter in the match and Vega is out numbered three-to-one!”
“Well, two-to-one, at least,” April corrected. “As tough as Raphael is, with that wound in his side, he’s effectively out of the fight and I hope he has the good sense to stay there.”
Donatello grunted in pain as he used his bo to block a kick by Vega only to suffer a gash on his forearm from Vega’s claws.
“Still, Vega will want to finish Donatello off quickly and move on to Leonardo if he wants to win this match,” Daisuke said as Donatello fought to block more of Vega’s savage claw strikes with his bo. “And from the looks of it, he really does.”
Don blocked a punch from Vega’s unclawed hand with one end of his bo and a claw swipe to his legs with the other. The length of Vega’s weapon reached anyway and deeply scratched the turtle’s leg as he drew his hand away.
“Despite Donatello’s skill and superior reach with his bo,” Daisuke said. “Vega is still maintaining a strong control over the match.”
“Not to mention a constant series of cuts to anything the turtle leaves unguarded,” Daffy added. “He may be the brainy one, but if you ask me, Donatello wasn’t too smart to go up against someone like Vega.”
Vega continued to savagely, yet skillfully, attack the intelligent turtle in the ring.
“On second thought,” The psycho Spaniard said calmly as he scored another shallow set of cuts to Donatello’s arm. “I think Haohmaru was right. You’re not sewer dwelling mutants...”
“Interesting,” Donatello said, blocking another claw swipe, but wincing as he took a kick to his opposite side. “Then what are we, you’re so smart?”
“You are nothing but lowly demons, not even fit to walk the Earth. It will be my pleasure to purge you and your hideous kind from it.”
The bo failed to block once more and another slice appeared on the turtle’s leg.
Donatello dropped to his knees, gasping for breath as the sadistic Vega towered over him and chuckled softly.
“It’s red,” Vega laughed staring at the wet blood dripping from his claws. “Just like a human’s. I wonder...if it will taste just as sweet.”
Vega slid his ornate mask off his face, much to the appreciation of the female fans until he slowly ran his tongue along the sharp, dripping length of his blade.
“Oh God!” April gasped.
“That is just sick!” J.R. exclaimed.
“I think I’m gonna puke!” Hiroshi gagged.
Donatello simply looked on with an unique expression on his face; a perfect blend of horror, disgust, and anger.
Vega closed his mouth and adopted a sudden sour expression then spat out the blood of the turtle before him.
“Disgusting!” Vega seethed. “How vile! This cold demon blood tastes just like the filth you--”
The end of the bo staff connected with Vega’s unprotected face hard enough to scrape the skin and break bone.
“WHOA!!!” Hiroshi shouted. “Donatello just busted Vega right in the face!!!”
As Donatello got up from the mat, he delivered another jab to the narcissistic psycho’s face with his bo and then decked him with a strong right hand, knocking the mask off Vega’s head and clear out of the ring.
Vega staggered back, but seemed more in shock than any sort of pain.
“AHHHHHH!!! MY FACE!!!” Vega screamed in a blind and panicked rage. “MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY FACE?!?”
“From the looks of it, I shattered your cheek bone, broke your noise, and you may get nice black eye,” Donatello smirked then re-readied his bo staff. “And that’s just for starters.”
“It looks like Donatello has managed to turn the tables on Vega!” J.R. said. “But will he be able to keep it up?”
“You will pay for this!” Vega hissed, feeling his broken and slightly bleeding face.
“I have to look at your face!” Donatello retorted. “Trust me Vega, I already am!”
With a savage shout, Vega lunged forward. Don blocked Vega’s claws with his bo, but remained locked in a stalemate face-to-bruised face with the deranged street fighter.
“Perhaps I’ll just take it out on your pretty red-headed friend,” Vega sneered through the blood dripping out of his nose. “I’m sure Miss O’Neal and I will be able to have lots of fun...before I skin her alive.”
“Uh-oh...” Hiroshi gasped and looked over to April, who looked considerably paled and frozen with fear.
“I don’t like Vega as much anymore,” King muttered as Master Splinter took a few steps to place himself between the ring and the announce table.
“Big mistake, pal,” Raphael snarled standing next to Leonardo, who, surprisingly, looked even angrier than his rebellious brother.
Donatello merely frowned in anger and twisted his bo staff, wrenching Vega’s claws off his arm and skidding out of the ring, then kicked Vega in the gut, which sent him staggering g to the corner just within reach of....
“Raphael just hit Vega!” Hiroshi cheered as the unmasked sociopath spun closer to... “Leonardo hit Vega! Vega’s getting wailed on and everyone’s getting their licks in!”
“WOOO!!! GO GET HIM GUYS!!!” April jumped up and cheered.
“It’s like Mardi Gras!” King cheered. “Anybody got some beads?”
“Don’t even think about it,” April gave King a death glare unlike any before.
“Nevermind,” King gulped as Vega staggered to the middle of the ring.
“Vega!” Donatello called. “Game over!”
Using his bo staff to pole vault himself forward, Donatello connected with a flying kick that sent Vega sailing out of the ring, into the steel ramp and utterly down for the count.
“What an incredible finish!!” J.R. shouted over the throngs of cheering fans. “I don’t mind saying that this match is over! Vega and all of Happosai’s team got just what they deserved!!!”
“Vega has been eliminated! Ladies and gentlemen! Your survivors; Leonardo, Raphael, and Donatello! The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!!!”
The turtles didn’t stick around to celebrate, however, and quickly made their way to the back to heal their wounds, with Don being helped by his blue-masked brother and Raphael leaning on Master Splinter.
“The turtles may have won the match, but they took a lot more damage,” Hiroshi said. “Do you think they’ll be okay, April?”
“They should be fine,” April said. “Even Mikey. They’ve been through worse...but not much.”
“Why?!? Why?!? Why?!? Why?!?” Daffy Duck groaned while simultaneously banging his head on the commentating table.
“What’s wrong, Daff?” Hiroshi asked. “I thought you bet on the Turtles. You won!”
“I changed it at the last minute!” Daffy sobbed. “Now Don Lino’s gonna have my beak broke!”
“Serves you right,” April said with a righteous smirk. “You think we would have learned a lesson about gambling by now.”
“Nope!” Hiroshi chirped, holding a brand new wad of cash, which only made Daffy cry louder.
“At any rate,” Daisuke coughed. “It’s a good thing our next match is Off-Site, because the ring looks like it needs a little work.”
* * * * *
The Man of Steel sat in one of the locker rooms in the back, putting on a new red cape to replace the one that was destroyed earlier. He stared strait ahead of him and looked as if he was in deep contemplation.
“Kal-El?” A concerned female voice drew Superman’s attention with his Kryptonian birth name.
The woman was one of flawless beauty, from her red and white boots to the golden tiara in long raven-colored hair. Her Amazonian physique was covered in her familiar costume of red, white, blue, and gold. Silver gauntlets covered to her wrists and a long golden lariat hung from her side. Everything about her is truly a wonder. Her name is Diana, Princess of Themyscira, but she is better known to the world as Wonder Woman.
“Diana,” Superman greeted his one best friends as she took a seat beside him.
“What’s wrong, Kal?” Diana asked. “You’re not worried are you?”
“No,” Superman sighed. “I’m not worried. I’m just not comfortable with the idea of fighting for sport. I never have been and I don’t think I ever will be.”
“That’s understandable,” Wonder Woman replied. “After all, every time you’ve been forced to fight for an audience the Earth was being threatened, the universe was going to be destroyed, or your friends were in danger. It’s always been life and death.”
“Exactly,” The Kryptonian refugee agreed.
“But that’s not the case this time,” The Amazon princess replied. “Tonight, all that’s expected is that you give it your all. Just do your best and you’ll be fine. Relax, have fun with it. It’s just like when we spar with each other.”
“Not really,” Superman said with a sly smile. “Whenever I fight you, I KNOW I’m going to lose.”
“Kal...” Diana smiled and rolled her eyes as she got up to leave. “Just do your best. I’ll be rooting for you. Now, I have my own match to worry about. Fighting three others isn’t going to be easy, but it will certainly prove who’s deserving of the title ‘Most Powerful Woman’.”
“Plus you’d get another gold belt to go with the title,” Superman teased. “Good luck tonight Diana.”
“I don’t need luck,” Wonder Woman stated flatly as she adjusted the golden lasso at her side. “I have skill.”
“Everyone can use a little luck,” Superman smiled, showing even more of his likable “farmboy-ish” quality.
“I suppose you’re right,” Diana conceded. “And Kal...”
“Good luck tonight,” Diana smiled as she turned from the doorway.
“I thought you said you don’t believe in luck.”
“I said I don’t need luck,” Diana corrected. “You, on the other hand, need all the luck you can get.”
“Right,” Superman chuckled. “And Diana...”
* * * * *
“Well it sure looks like Superman is ready for a knock-down, drag-out, go-for-broke, no-holds-barred, action-packed battle of the century!!!” Hiroshi screamed in delight before downing an entire two liter of Mountain Dew.
“Lay off the caffeine, Hiroshi,” Daisuke sighed. “Seriously, man. I’m worried about you.”
“And Wonder Woman looks ready for action as well,” J.R. mentioned.
“I’ll say!” King said. “She can tie me up with that golden lasso anytime!”
“That’s not what I meant King,” J.R. rolled his eyes. “Later on, Wonder Woman will join Lina Inverse, the X-Men’s Storm, and Ryoko, as all four fight for the title of ‘Most Powerful Woman in the Universe’, but right now April O’ Neil is standing by backstage with a surprise interview. April?”
* * * * *
“Thanks J.R.,” April said. “Standing next to me is WWE Superstar Chris Jericho. Jericho, why did you ask for this interview when you don’t even have a match tonight?”
April held the microphone to the face of the arrogant man wearing a flashy red sequined open shirt and matching pants. His long blond hair with bright red tips was tied into a familiar pigtail fashion. The only thing not overly flashy was the sinister smirk he held above his blond goatee.
“Yeah, thanks, Loser,” Y2J sneered as he snatched the microphone out of April’s hand and shoved her off camera. “That’s right, I don’t have a match! That’s because all of these ass-clowns don’t know true talent when they see it! Don’t they know I’m a huge rock star? I am Y...2...J! The greatest fighter that ever lived! I am a Living Legend and the Undisputed King...of the World!!!”
“The only thing undisputed about you is that you’re an undisputed fem-boy has been,” A sarcastic voice chimed in from off camera.
The camera panned over to reveal a young man dressed in a pair of silk pants. The martial artist with short dark brown hair also wore a vest and wrist guards seemingly made of green dragon scales, but the strangest piece of garb he wore was a belt made of a pair of women’s pantyhose.
“Who’s that?” King asked. “And how can I get a pair of those pantyhose?”
“It’s Pantyhose Taro!” Hiroshi answered.
“But don’t let him hear you calling him that,” Daisuke warned. “He is so sensitive about the name Happosai gave him, he is prone to get violent about it.”
“Who are you, you little jackass?” Jericho demanded.
“My name’s not important,” Pantyhose Taro sneered. “What is important is that you realize you’re not the best fighter here...I am.”
“Really?” Laughed Y2J. “You think so? Well I think you’re not even a has been...” Jericho stepped right up to Pantyhose Taro, showing he has a little height over the one in the dragon scale vest. “You’re a never was!”
Pantyhose Taro just smirked.
“I AM NOT A HAS BEEN YOU, LITTLE PANTYHOSE FREAK!!!” Jericho snapped, causing the confident smirk to leave Pantyhose Taro’s face.
Without another word, Pantyhose Taro’s fist shot into the gut of the self-styled Living Legend. As Chris Jericho stumbled back, the confident smirk returned to Pantyhose Taro’s face only to have it knocked off when Y2J’s return punch connected. The fight continued as the two walking egos continued to battle down the hallway.
April picked up the microphone and looked into the camera with a sour expression.
“Back to you J.R.,” She grumbled.
* * * * *
“Sorry April and thank you,” J.R. apologized. “That Jericho can be such a jackass.”
“Pantyhose Taro isn’t any better,” Daisuke noted. “I just hope they don’t run into any cold water.”
“Yes,” Hiroshi agreed. “That would be bad. What does Chris Jericho turn into anyway?”
“What?” Daffy blanched.
“He’s not cursed,” Daisuke said as he covered his face in embarrassment.
“Oh, right!” Hiroshi sweat-dropped. “I keep forgetting not everybody is...even though were not either.”
“Idiot,” Daffy muttered.
Anyway,” J.R. announced. “The Women’s Championship will be decided right after the Mecha Brawl, and that match is next!”
Superman stared at the doorway long after Diana had left. Once the camera stopped transmitting and Clark knew he was alone, his face dropped once more.
“I’m not worried about losing,” He said to no one in particular. “I’m more worried about winning.”
* * * * *